Malaysian men.....

Hard to find Malaysian men who....

1) Opens the door for you...

2) Walks you to your car...

3) is always on time...

4) doesn't boast...

5) doesn't drool looking at pretty women...

Creative Business

Most Malaysian I think , sit around and try to churn out new business ideas...who doesn't wanna make a quick buck right? But it always boils down to NO capital..but good ideas nevertheless....

1) Concept Tours- NY has its Kramer tour, Sex & the City Tour, Malaysia can have its Eating Tour, Nightlife Tour, Penang-Eats-Only Tour, Beach Tour, History Tour, Jungle Tour basically...customers can customize their tours to their specific budget and specific locations they wanna cover

2) Men's Grooming Center - I think fashion would eventually catch up in Malaysia..women are already doing great but Malaysian men Makeovers might come in handy in future.

3) Drive-Thru Cinema- Ok..we don't have this and remember how well Starlight Cinema in Bukit Kiara did? People didn't mind sitting on the padang...This idea calls for a big piece of land though.

4) Drive-Thru Ramly Burger & Cendol/Ais Kacang Combo - You'll be surprised how Malaysians like these kinda things..a lot of KL people know about the infamous Ipoh drive-thru soyabean stall. Definitely beat the McDonald's drivethru. Honestly, most Malaysian prefer Ramly Burger, just that there's usually no seating area.

5) Coffee City- Basically a big Coffee hub - specializes in international array of coffee beans for coffee lovers- served with biscotti and chocolates. Only pay entrance fees. Customers can even brew their own coffee. It has to be as big as Nike City. The fad might fade, but then you can always switch to Tea City :)

Can think of any?

That's so Passe.....

It's passe....to

1) have your t-shirt collars upturned...rockstar mehhh

2) know only English......everyone's going global, need to be multi-lingual or Mandarin-speaking. People in Taiwan can speak English/Mandarin/Japanese with language schools at every corner of Taipei.

3) go for buffet......everyone's going 'organic' now and people are getting more health-conscious

4) use icq.....there's skype and msn

5) be a virgin..... pre-marital sex is necessary

6) watch TVB series.....hullo? Reality tv shows are invading the tv time

7) have a Bachelor degree.....most people get Master's degree/MBA. there are currently 56 MBAprogrammes in China alone.

8) only read newspapers....because of information sharing and globalisation, more & more people are sourcing elsewhere for faster, more ACCURATE news in websites, news media, blogs, magazines..etc

Malaysians bad habits

This is of no particular order...............
1) Spitting - generally men will unwind their car windows and spit...or spit when they're walking..or spit after smoking.
2) Talking on the phone in the cinema. I think the cinema ppl ought to remove these ppl from the cinema for other people's sake. I say, impose a fine!
3) Jaywalking. Just go to Old Klang Road...I swear, one day I might just 'accidentally' knock them down.
4) Talking loudly on the cellphone. Seriously..is this really necessary? Or does our telecommunication providers suck?
5) Salesgirl following u around. I just wonder if this happens in other countries...coz I dont have this problem when I travel to other countries.
6) Digging your nose when driving. OK...this is so disgusting and it applies to women and men.
7) Not Queueing up!...ok, some older people thinks it's their prerogative to cut queues...well, it's not..other younger people's time are just as precious as any older person's.
8) Farting in public. No..this is not cool. Even if there is only 1 person around...
9) Wearing t-shirts and shorts into the pool. Hygeine ranks very low in Malaysian people's priority. Stop bringing your germs into the public pool ok.
10) LATE for an appointment. It doesn't matter if it's a wedding, funeral, a meeting, whatever, ...i've had friends who'll be late for 2 freaking hours...
GOT ANY?

E-mail boo-boos or no?

Here are some examples of phrases that I often see in emails. Not sure whether they are correct to use. Any feedback would be great.

1. “Please advice”. Should it not be “Please advise”. The same goes with “I need your advise”, should it not be “I need your advice”.
2. “Please do the needful”. Sounds weird, though I think the sentence could be correct. But why can’t we just use “Please do what is necessary/required”. Simpler isn’t it?
3. “Enclosed herein is..” or “ Enclosed herewith is..”. I usually just have “Please find this enclosed”. Think that’s good enough?
4. “Please double confirm” and “Please double check”. Seems so mahfan.. why need to double everything?
5. “As per conversation with your goodself..” Seems very assuming, how do I know if you’re really good, saintly-halo-on-the-head good? I know it’s correct, but I find it awkward, pretending ppl are good.. come on. “As per conversation with yourself..” should suffice?
6. “What you reckon?” I thought it should be “What do you reckon?” No?
7. “..Should be able to shed some lights.” HAHA, I think this is obvious.
8. “Kindly revert to us”. Revert is to go back to a former condition, rite? Or to reverse something? Seems really strange though I admit it's widely used.

Of Kelings and Bengalis

Did you know that it's degrading to call someone Keling, but it's alright to use Keling Kia? And did you know that Bengali is a language and also refers to an ethnic group Bengalipeople?

Defying the Laws of Comedy

Best of Still Photojournalism 2004-for Magazine Portrait & Personality category. That's Jim Carrey :)

The Cheena-Man Attitude

1. They never read their emails and will tell you that the emails you sent are lost in cyberspace so as to avoid claiming responsibility for a required action or any other form of liabilities.

Counter attack: Request for a read-receipt. Or call them up and read the whole email aloud and remember to jot down the date and time. Make sure they understand what you say though. May have to repeat a few times to get message across.

2. Their commercial mantra is to ALWAYS ask for a DISCOUNT. Even 5% would be good. Sometimes they will call you and disguise their motive by asking you technically-duhh questions or they end up not really listening anyways. They will tell you that other competitors are giving lower pricing than you are and that others' deliveries are better.
Counter attack: Mark up the price/quote you are giving them. Perhaps 15% so you end up making at least 5-10%? :D

3. If you work with these people and it’s your first day, expect to perform menial tasks like making coffee, printing copies, filing, sending boss’ car for service, among other things. They’ll tell you it’s to help you familiarize yourself with the office surroundings but really, they just want to ‘hup’ you.
Counter attack: Feign stupidity or ignorance. Mention what you have been doing in your weekly meetings or a chanced how-are-you-getting-along question from your boss, casually and tactfully, of course.

4. Be prepared to have discussions in Cantonese/Mandarin/Hokkien. Have nothing against this except they’d have to watch out if there are colleagues who don’t speak the language.
Counter attack: learn the language, if you can. Can’t? Remind them that there are those who don’t understand the language. If your business-needs tend to sway towards the use of Chinese, fine. But if not, you can’t stop them as they are probably the majority. Suggest you find a non-cheena working environment.. hahha

5. They will promise you the moon and the stars when you ask them something but they can’t even make it to the appointment on-time.
Counter attack: Pretty obvious that whatever they promise needs to be in black and white. If they are late for the appointment, refuse to see them or walk out. Time is gold.

6. They expect their lowly-paid employees to work long hours, as long as it takes to get the work done although they have the means to hire an extra hand. They believe those who work the longest hours are the most hardworking employees.
Counter attack: If you have already done what you’re supposed to do, go home. If everyone does this, then they would know better than to exploit their employees.

*Extremities are taken as examples here.. no offence taken i hope.

The Singleton as a Friend

The Singleton is....

1.The Hidden Friend -As a female singleton, i brand myself as the Hidden Friend. So many a times, i'll be caught animated in a conversation with a fellow guy friend, when all of a sudden, he gets a phone call - and always its the girlfriend. So first question from the gf would be "Where and who u with?". I'm always

a) Just some customer laaaa

b) supplier...

c) just a friend...male..(irregardless that i am acquainted with the gf)

d) yumcha kaki onli

2. The Last Minute Friend -Again, the concept that singletons are always free, makes it easy for their friends to make last minute plans with the singletons. And there's never a worry if the other party needs to check if the gf/bf is free or not, whether the gf/bf minds if they go out, whether they have transport or not. Singletons are always mobile!!! Ever on the go.

3. The Organizer -Singletons are always appointed as organizers for bday parties, drinking sessions, dinner sessions, mamak sessions...just because people always assume singletons have more time or they dont need to consult/report to their spouses/bf/gf. People dont see that it actually gives the singletons the chance to plan the sessions AROUND their schedule.

4. The Aunt Agony- Singletons are always there to lend a shoulder to cry on, or to knock some sense in some really screwed up, bastardic, silly friends. Just ask yourself, how many attached friends would actually sit down with you, walk through ur problems with you, sit through a really long lonngggg mamak session..Comparatively, singletons have more TIME TO SPARE for their friends.

Aiyoh!!

Malaysia's most overused English words/phrases

1) Actually (Actually ar, she.....)

2) Already (I finish already..) usually pronounced to sound like 'oredi' or 'a-dy'

3) Don't want (I don't want it already)

4) No problem (No problem, don't worry)

5) ..and then? ( yar yar...and then? and then?)

6) ...brother... (Eh, brother! * with a slam on the fella's shoulder*)

Malaysia's most overused Malay words/phrases

1) Bos, kira! -widely used at the mamak

2) Amoi - word I hate the most- in reference to a Chinese girl

Malaysia's most common known Cantonese slangs (used even by the Malays and Indians)

1) Kautim - means completed

2) Ngam - means good rapport/relationship

Malaysia's most overused Tamil words

1) Aaa neh - in reference to a person older than you

2) Thamby - in reference to a person younger than you

Malaysia's most overused Hukkien slangs- think I can't post it here..mostly vulgar :)

And finally AHBUHTHEN: a manifestation of English + Hukkien usually used to mock people

kuai lo kopitiam treats ...

To be honest, I'm not a big fan of doughnuts. In fact, I hate doughnuts. I wouldn't touch any regular doughnuts BUT for some reason, I just LOVE Krispy Kreme. Why? I don't know, they're just different! How can I call myself a doughnut hater and yet succumb to Krispy Kreme?? I simply don't know !!!

The 4 phases of life ...

Canada's Kopitiam

Sometimes I really think that the cafes flourishing in KL are really not that good and way overpriced. On average, in some unknown cafe in KL with crummy decor and lousy brew is charging about RM8 for a cup of coffee. Over at TIMHORTONS, what I dub as Canada's Kopitiam, I can get a fantastic caffeine fix for CA$1.29. This average kopitiam is also conveniently located everywhere, it's clean, and..migosh...you really have to see the selection of muffins, donuts, timbits, croissants that they offer.

And I dunno about you, but I've always liked my coffee in a mug. They also have iced cappucino that downs well during the summer. It is really a very simple concept of kopitiam that people at all levels can go to.

And the muffins..well, they are phenomenal..I can have it everyday, my favourite being the Oatmeal Raisin :) Anyone can intro a good cafe in KL?

Best Coffee

Best coffee is no doubt Ipoh White Coffee. Starbucks can step aside. This coffee gives me the spell...the craving...and the best coffee experience. Get the authentic one at this kopitiam in Ipoh Old Town. Guaranteed satisfaction..

And it's served like this in Ipoh..with some spills on the saucer ..and foam on the top. Served with kaya toast...Truly Ipohian style.

Give me my Beano!

I don't know about you guys but I can distinctively remember growing up reading loads of Enid Blyton, The Famous Five, Nancy Drew, Secret Seven & The Hardy Boys-things deemed to be too corny now. But somehow, back then there was always some BEANO mags lying around, which is kinda strange considering that it's a Brit children's comic. I would read and reread the adventures of Dennis the Menace and his dog Gnasher(who goes *gnash gnash*, Minnie the Minx and the Bash Street Kids. I always thought it was better than Archie & Friends (it's too lame). ANyone remember the Dandy, it was the first one before? Well, just a jog down the memory lane.... visit BEANOTOWN

Napoleon Dynamite

I can't even begin to describe this 2004 movie, it's quirky, funny without trying at all, hilarious, a unique movie one of its kind. Jon Heder makes a convincing nerd called Napoleon,,,love his curly hair and awkward self.....right up to his incredible danceperformance....The other characters compliments him well, check out Pedro...I love it that it portrays real-life people..you know, those zombie-like people who are quiet, a little odd, with the can't-be-bothered look...I'm sure once you've seen this movie, you'll realize that yo someone like Napoleon, Kip, Uncle Rico, Summer, Pedro would have crossed your path. The movie takes you to an unpredictable journey in the life of Napoleon Dynamite...who's out to prove he's got nothing to prove!

PS: This movie won MTV Movie Awards best movie and Jon Heder (Napoleon) won Best Breakthrough Male....he was paid only USD1000 for this role

Watch Out...Double Parkers!!!

If there's one thing I hate about Malaysian drivers is that they double park...and they think it's alright to double park! Ask any KL drivers and any can relate to you a honking-like-mad-coz-a-car-double-parked-behind-my-car experience! The worst thing is that these double parkers when they get to their car, they give unpleasant remarks as if it is our fault that we're so impatient and angry over nothing.
Often the reasons for double parking are:
1) double parker went to 'tarpau' some food
2) double parker went to pay bills at the post office
3) double parker can't find parking so conveniently double park because he/she is in a rush
4) double parker is lazy to walk and because there is no nearest parking to the mamakstall/kopitiam, double parker rather just double park and be on a lookout in case need to remove car from double parking spot.
5) double parker went to buy 4-D, Toto, etc
6) double parker is too stingy to fork out few cents for parking since he/she wont be 'long'
I realize that double parking happens everywhere...even in Bangkok where double parking is a norm..people double park and leave their handbrakes down in Chatuchak and the shopping malls. AT least Bangkok ppl are considerate while Malaysians seems to think it is their RIGHT to double park.
Next double parker i see- expect some total damage on your vehicle.

Finally...Revamp on Education!

Revamp! article has really made my day. Ex corporate figures and civil servants would be reabsorbed into the education system. Having been in the Malaysia education cycle some years back, I really applaud this move. I've had 5 years in secondary school of many "DIY" or "Masa Sendiri" sessions where the teacher/relief teachers would be reading newspapers, cutting their nails, chatting with the "ampu" students while the rest of us are running amok in the classroom. Back in those days, we embraced happily this little 'arrangement' sometimes even collaborating with the teachers, we didnt know better...now when I look back, we've wasted so much time...
But really to make this work, someone's gotta look into the salary scale. See salaryreview . Really much rather have the 4.8bil allocated for upgrading credible teachers' salary than for upgrading police welfare. At least we've had SOME good teachers in the past. Anyone can name one credible policeman?

And let's not forget about some of the retired teachers already reabsorbed back into the system. Let's ensure the SELECTION CRITERIA for all levels (primary/secondary/university) are CLEAR to avoid any confusion amongst the teachers. Credentials are important so that the students can respect the teachers. Downfall on the Education system is that students like us, over the years, have lost respect and faith for the teachers.
Perhaps next time, we can have schools like SchoolofRock ?? Just kidding, although some variety of schools available would be most welcomed :)

Who's Protecting Who?

4.8bilforpolice? cites of RM4.8bil allocation to the Police force. First of all, what police workforce? DO you consider them as a genuine police force? Some people consider them as bullies and opportunists. And not so long ago, there was a big hoo-haa on the earsquat scandal..still fresh in many 'rakyat''s minds. I have lost faith, really. The RM4.8bil is supposedly to improve the quality and efficiency of the police workforce...so why is the fund used for improving police welfare on housing and logistics? What about eliminating the so called 'few' bad apples, see badapples... ?? Inspector-General of Police Tan Sri Bakri Omar states that the funds would be used to handle narcotic cases more efficiently by using new technology such as SMS. SMS???? You need 4.8bil for that? And, to improve the efficiency of the police force, all they could come up with is SMS? No other more substantial ideas? I can't imagine my neighbourhood policeman diligently sms-ing to report on a 'dadah' case... Didn't someone raise the question of who's gonna ensure that these bad apples don't strike? Who's gonna protect the rakyat from the so called 'crimebusters'? And..btw, wasn't RM365mil already allocated for the CCTV (yet another superfluous measure) cctv?? What gives?

Back Off!

coliseumcinema . First... take away the man's 2 pieces of land...then, impose the Land Acquisition Act to take away his family legacy...then give him 30 days to evacuate.....& THEN they have the cheek to say that they're willing to negotiate to lease it from him and saying 'it could be a good marriage' ? If there was no vast public outcry, would there have been this lease plan? Why didn't that come up in the first place before instructing an old man to leave in 30 days? Even if the reasons for acquiring the Coliseum was in fact noble and to preserve the culture- have the decency to layout a proposal and negotiate with Dr. Chua. That's how civilized people do things. Think before you Act.

Protect yourself. Read WhatisLandAcquisitionAct