2010 ..... 2011.

Can't believe the year went by so fast. I felt it was a good year though. What do you think? I felt that I had a well rounded year, career, wealth, family, love, travel, all the works.

Of course the biggest highlight was us officiating our marriage by the wedding reception just few weeks ago. I was just telling Kye that you gotta let everyone you love know you're getting married so they'll make it to her wedding, because you'll want to feel the love around you on your big day. It's corny I know, but that's how I felt with my family reunited with Imn back, my parents, the Angs, and the Books, and all my jimuis and closest friends. The wedding was even better than I imagined it to be.

Family- Imn and Tache both moved to new places before the year ends. Kyra's a big girl now and Aaron's naughty as ever. Mom and Dad are still energetic as ever and without their support, emotionally and financially, perhaps our wedding would not have materialized. Tache's had enlightment this year, and yar, maybe we should tell our parents more often how much we love them. Affirmation is necessary!

Career wise, I've let go a major opportunity with my previous company after a promotion. But I'm happy with the decision and moving forward to something less stressful. Gone were the days when I'm crunching numbers and kpis, and trying to meet impossible goals. Now I have the flexibility to also spend some time on 'me' and other things that matters in my life. I'm embracing work life balance and I think that's important when you're in your 30s. No?

Travel- we've put on hold our travel plans and only made it to Macau and Jogjakarta this year. Both were birthday presents for each other :) Let's hope for more next year. But really, I'm happy with even just 2 little trips anywhere. Life's too short.

And so the year ends with a new beginning. 2011 promises a year full of love as hopefully Imn would have her tea ceremony here, and my closest friends (kye, june) are getting married, and I'm already gearing up for a CNY reunion with some SPC friends.

Black Swan

Absolutely riveting masterpiece, by the same guy who gave us The Wrestler, The Fountain (yucks). This movie is a genre of it's own. Reminds me of Harry Brown. Natalie Portman was great in her portrayal and all the hype is truly deserving. 2 Thumbs Up!

Honeymoon???

Everyone's been asking about where we're going for our honeymoon. I guess we've always been the unconventional couple, so even in the wedding itself, everything was really different and we did not really follow the standard rules. So for Honeymoon, well if only finances permitted it, we would have gone for a trip immediately after the wedding...but..

1) well, we had a lot of 'important' people in KL for the wedding, like Tache + family, Imn, Shauny...we couldnt possibly just leave...

2) I just started on a new job, and dont wanna be taking too many leaves already.

3) Andrew's still in the midst of his classes, haha, poor thing.

But we did set a few rules ..we've decided not to buy each other material gifts for our birthdays, instead, we'll buy each other trips! So our next birthday-cum-honeymoon is for Andrew's birthday in February! And it'll be a short trip to Phuket.

Any ideas where to stay in Phuket?

Keiko-San

Keiko-san was someone I met in my previous company. Combined fortune telling and headhunting is a lethal combo that makes her a great headhunter! She used to sit in a room just opposite me and always said that I hardly had time to talk to her as I was always immersed in work (or look like busy-neh!) or eyes glued to the screen. When I told her I was leaving the company, she read my fortune, and said that I was gonna soar high, but i'll have to be manning my own business to excel.

She came for my wedding reception at BSC. This time round, she read Andrew's. She mentioned to him that he'll have to be careful about his stress level, and be aware of the 'quality' of his friends. There are just people around you who manipulate your kindness so that it'll work to their benefit. I've encountered some, and we have to know who our real friends are! Keiko san said I have an eye for these kind of things, so Andrew should listen to me more. HAHAHA.

even more than ever now, her advise is something I'll carry with me wherever I go.

Yam Sengggggggggggg

It was a memorable 2-day affair. Some hits and misses. But it was fun and filled with happiness. The morning started off at 6am, mom was already awake cooking. Incredible. She made 5 dishes on top of the buffet spread- rojak, chicken curry, acar (nyonya style) etc. Imn woke up later to prepare the 'props' for the games later for the hengdais. Book and Alvyn went to collect the other goodies, while Tache and Erche were busy feeding the kids. Dad was the director, and had his cup of coffee for the morning. Can you feel the love already ? :)

The morning session went fine. Andrew was slightly late because he forgot the bouquet, and the fruit basket. That is despite me sending a sms reminder to one of his hengdais, knowing that Andrew may just forget. I guess guys are just not so good with details! haha. Shamila, Ming, Tzewei, Weiyi, Wantheng, Heeky, Yenbin, Herman, Eva, Siang were my jimuis. Although i've missed Karyee, Sookching, Huilarn, Chuilyn, Agnes, JUNE.

We didn't get lunch in the midst of all the chaos, so I had to call my sister to prepare some food for us to take away :( haha. In all the hype, everyone forgot to feed us! hehe

The 1st dinner was like an adrenaline rush. I was quite high and truly HAPPY. to see my relatives, to see my friends, ex-colleagues, everyone at the reception. It was quite funny how everyone kept mistaking me and Imn, hehe. I didn't waste much time, and before the 2nd dish, I was already gallivanting around the hall, making my rounds and greeting my guests. I didnt want to be the demure bride that sits on the main table ahhahahaa. Had a lot of fun. Shaun was the mc (had me in laughter), Tache the choreographer for the walk-in (guys, this is a very crucial task because...try keeping 2 kids on a leash and make them walk straight), Erche and Alvyn for the program and music, Imn especially for being the treasurer. Most restaurants want to be paid by the 1st half of the dinner, so, poor Imn missed about 4-5 dishes i think.

Mom and Dad were just fabulous. My guests after the wedding told me that my parents went round their tables and ejek Hisyam (the performer that night), and asked them to tapau, made them feel warm, and well, just being the fabulous hosts on our behalf. Andrew's mom did a good job in guest list, trust me everyone, it is not an easy task due to the limited seats. My mom was pretty flexible and I had a free hand in that.

If anything, I applaud my parents for being so understanding and flexible...these are things that made me feel it was really my wedding. Most couples I know would say "oh, that wedding is for my parents wan.....for show only, make the old folks happy onli". but I didnt feel that way. Maybe it's the Hainanese blood in me, I really love my relatives. I even invited some of mom's old friends from Teluk Intan that mom forgot, because I really love them. THey all watch me grow up, and it would not have been complete without their presence on my big day.

Andrew had a little episode and was drunk, not pissed drunk thank god, was still able to walk on his own, although Shauny had to put up with his trash talk haha, singing Oasis on the way home. He was in his new boxers ONLY at the balcony and Shauny had to keep him occupied while I try to 'dismantle" my makeup and hair.

2nd day was a little less dramatic, although Erche and Imn had to do up the reception, and the lovely spread. It was a wonderful surprise because it turned out better than I envisioned. THe photographs of truly US (not those bridal shoot) and Erche's spread. The spread was something I've always loved and wanted, but just didnt have the ability to assemble something like that. Tache had to man the reception with June for a while....hehehehe. And Tache/Alvyn took some great pictures. Candid and things I love. I had tache and alvyn this task because over the years, I've always loved the babybandit blog for the pictures and tache's wit, and Tache's shots in fb, that always made me happy. True enough, Tache/Alvyn's pics were great.Again Imn missed the food, and only got to the Main Course, busy counting money. I'll plan yours next year Imn!

The highlight was probably my dad's impromptu speech ....the song. Dad's declaration of his love to my mom after 43 years....because 12Dec is also their anniversary. There was a little mishap with the album I did for them which Imn and Tache fixed (thank god). Was a nice touch to the wedding as dad departed some wisdom to our friends who were either newlyweds, or attached, or new parents.

And last but not least, to sum it all up, as Andrew (in his drunk state) puts it, ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE.

And the Hardest Part.....

The day is near. My hardest stint yet. TO be a *&^*&^-ing bride. I aim to enjoy myself. because we can't please everyone. So let's hope everything falls into place, and if it doesnt, heck :) I hope everyone enjoys it though. We did the best we could with our budget. I just hope no one leaves sorely disappointed or hungry :( I'm touched and feel blessed with the love around me from my family. It's a nice feeling knowing that someone wants the wedding to be more perfect than you want it to be.

Secretly, I know I wanted this wedding to happen while my family's still intact, mum and dad are there to bless it, and all my sisters, brother-in-laws (except for Jason, but imn would represent him) and the little additions (aaron and kyra). That's what matters to me ...in the end. Not the flowers, or the gown, or the dinner... J shared with me her thoughts on wishing her grandma and mom were around to celebrate hers and it just broke my heart. I'm glad that I know now I would never have to feel that kind of loss. Especially on the most important day of my life.

I wish the events leading to the wedding day could be better, but no regrets. There are things that happen and no use being angsty about it. I cannot change the world! (says the wise Tache).

Auntie Connie

My Aunt recently had a heart attack, and had ballooning done to remove blockage on one artery. My mum was devastated. Another one in the family to be admitted to the hospital. I've just been with my mom in and out of hospitals for the past 2 months.

When we got to the hospital she was already in the CCU (Critical Care Unit) and was doing fine. Chatting like before maybe just less energetic! She's the mother of my cousin brother who was sent to Ipoh years ago for disciplinary care by my mom.

A simpleton who is always energetic and humble, she never fails to enlighten me at times, with very simplistic solutions and conclusions. You dont know how hard that is nowadays when people tend to complicate matters. Just the other day she was asking me about when my wedding day was, and how she was looking forward to it. Made me realize that indeed it's true that weddings are never just about the couple, but it's not really such a bad thing if we are priviledged enough to give our elderly relatives a chance to gather for an event. There are some relatives who rely on their sons/daughters to chauffeur them over, so really, a gathering in a big way is really rare these days.

Take a Chill Pill

To achieve a stress-free and a happy life, make a conscious effort to take a chill pill. Imn says i'm a control freak, and yeah, she knows me best! But I guess, if i wanna live longer, i'm gonna have to need a constant supply of chill pill! Takes a constant reminder in my head to tell myself...RELAX....RELAX!

1) work is just work. a channel to help u realize your other dreams, to wheel you towards your goal. why get upset over things you can't control? just be happy that we even have a job nowadays! people at work complain constantly, and you know wat? I'm happy because I've had it worse. And I didnt complain that much even then, because as I told tache, I love going to work. If at any point you're starting to dread going to work, well, it's just not working out then. so take a chill pill. no one says you HAVE to work there. no one says it's the ONLY job in the world.

2) You can't change others, so change yourself. That's something tache said the other day. which is so true. in my case, i apply it to the way i react to things these days. Sometimes, people annoy me, or they say negative things, and refuse to listen even though it's for the better. Well, I can't change how others feel or think, so I can only stop GETTING ANNOYED with anything. If i change how i react or if i just DO NOT REACT, i dont get annoyed or irked. ignorance can be bliss at times!

3) Nothing is Perfect. No one is perfect. Not everything has to fall in order in everything you set out to do. I learn that while planning THE WEDDING. believe me, the wedding is everything I didnt plan it out to be. And it's actually BETTER! there are some hits and misses, but I'm still happy. It's a product of imperfection and effort from everyone, so TAKE A CHILL PILL! the wedding coordinator at the restaurant today must be very happy. I didnt complain about the food, or ask for freebies, or requested for anything.

So everyone, take a chill pill today. we all need it to stay sane!

Power of Affirmation

I've learned so much from my tache that I can barely blog fast enough about it. Power of Affirmation. Definition of Affirmation: the assertion that something exists or is true.

I think we all go through life having a certain perception of ourselves. If people say you're ugly, you think you're ugly all your life. It's really nothing to do with your confidence, but what if those people were wrong? most of the time, we're influenced by your family and your closest friends. Some people carry very low esteem of themselves because of that.

Recently I got a thank you from a close friend. Said that I was so instrumental in helping him and that things I've said have really woke him up! An affirmation from a friend! I must say i was astounded. I didnt think that anything I said ever had any impact on anyone. And it made me feel really good seriously. And even my tache said that i'm actually quite wise. Wow. Talk about a boost in how much you value yourself. Wouldnt you want to give someone that?

So as my sister advised, start giving people affirmation. It's really a positive thing. if you think someone has made a change in your life, however small the impact, say thank you to that person. Today.

Say No to Angst

it was a weekend of education and enlightment that my eldest sister has brought to us. No more angst, and no more stress! It's really how you perceive things and deal with problems etc that makes a difference. Everything really starts to become clearer and less stressful if you'd just follow these mantra.

1) You can't change others. so change yourself. change the way you react to things that irks u.

2) do not carry stress at work back to your home. You will affect the people who are the closest to you.

3) say that you love your parents, or your friends. even if it takes a tear or two. take that step.

4) give affirmation to people who deserves it. and anytime. people do not realize that you are appreciative. go ahead and make her/his day.

Of course there are also some rules:

1) there's a fine line between arrogance and confidence.

2) between complacency and laziness.

3) positive energy attracts positive things. it's the law of attraction, so discard all negative energy from yourself!

Quote of the day

One cannot afford to be innocent in Malaysia.....

Exasperating

I cannot in my life, fanthom nor understand why in this world are there people who refuse to learn how to drive. They'll rather rely on others to chauffeur them, and that is only at another person's convenience. Perhaps it is fear, perhaps it is ignorance, perhaps it's lack of independence. I have no idea. I have been brought up independent and was gung-ho to learn how to drive, albeit driving my sister's old volks (which was a scary experience in the hilly Bukit Damansara at that time).

My mom, 64, drives herself everywhere, whenever, small car ke, big car ke, you name it. She has in history driven to Melaka, Teluk Intan, KL, Ipoh, brave the corners and nooks of KL and PJ, and now Subang.

My dad, 70, is still driving up and down from KL to Ipoh, and driving himself to work till this day.

A relative of ours was forced to learn how to drive, because her husband passed away, and well, really, in times of emergency, would you really rather hail a cab, call a cab, than to drive a car that is already at your doorstep? It might be a minute too late. All just because of ignorance.

Harry Brown

A surprisingly good movie. None of the Hollywood drama, real and disturbing. Gives an insight of the other side of UK. Not everything is rosy. They too are gripped with fear of hooligans and gangsterism, just like us. Comparable to Gran Torino, although I do think this is way better.

Mercy Killing

or better known as Euthanasia. Yesterday I took my mom to visit her old friend (well, she literally has all WHITE hair!) at the Pantai Hospital in ampang. it was her 10th surgery the day after, and almost a month and a half at the hospital. She has cancer, but she still was her same old positive self.

She told us that she was ejek-ing a doctor the other day that she was all out for Mercy Killing. She said that if a dog was suffering, the vet has no qualms about putting the dog to sleep, so why can't the same be done to a human being who is suffering as well. What is the point of suffering, she exclaimed. In her view, the doctors should speak up for the patients since euthanasia is illegal in Malaysia.

She said she's not afraid to die. "i can die anytime man" was what she said. What's good is life now anyways to be always on the operating table and lying in bed anyways. and she also said she's had enough of chemotherapy and radiotherapy. She was adamant to get out of the hospital and live on some holistic diet. Nevertheless, she's gungho about playing mahjong with mom again. haha

this is closely related to the movie "You Dont Know Jack" starring Al Pacino. Strikes a chord in my heart. The fine line between the choice of ending suffering or fighting a losing battle. Go watch it.

Complain

If there's any detox program that you should join, it's detox yourself from COMPLAINING. Think about it...it's TOXIC. It's something NEGATIVE. It's streneous just listening to it.. It's ANNOYING. It's DISRUPTIVE.

Unless you turn those complaints into action items. Unless you take the complain and take it to the source of the annoyance. Unless you ACT ON IT. Complaining to a friend at some mamak joint is not going to help.

If not, I suggest we STOP COMPLAINING.

Biar

I recently learnt this expression from a friends of mine. You use it when someone's irritating you and you tried as much to shoo him away, only to end up getting worked up for nothing. Biar. Eventually he'll get the hint. No point getting mad about it.

Or when someone's being kiasu and wants to know every single thing that you're doing at work (to stay competitive, or at least not behind me) and basically 'parrot' whatever you say or do. Eventually that person for sure could not put up the act that long.....

Or when you feel like you're exploited, and no matter how many times you've voiced it out, nobody gave a damn anyway. BIAR! you'll have the last laugh when you tender your resignation!

Hah! Biar!

Choose Your Battles

Not all battles are meant to be fought.
Not all battles are worth fighting for.
Some battles we can ignore. For some battles are not our battles.
Some battles are ours to fight. And us alone.
Those who do not fight, has not lived.
- sze lin

So You Think You Can Dance- Alex

Check this out...epic dance moves from Alex HipHop and Hallelujah.

A Quarter of A Century Friendship Anniversary!

I just realized that this year I would have known my primary school friends for 25 years! That means 25 years of friendship! 25 years of Laughter and Tears. Makes my heart go a-flutter just thinking about that. There are some I've known since in kindie when I was 5, but let's just say it was quite a blur period when you're 5 till about 7 years old. haha.

So here's a tribute to Eva, Tzewei, Larn, Shamila, Su Yeen, Ming Kuen. (including Imn i guess although I know her for 32 years hehe)...here's to a Quarter of A Century Friendship! And I'm so happy you guys will be there on my Big(gest) Day....

Bridezilla

Approximately 2and half months more before my wedding. I'm almost done with most details, and I'm glad I didnt turn bridezilla over it! A friend of mine said that we can choose to go cheap or go overboard with the wedding, and frankly, nobody appreciates it or remembers it. That's kinda sad. But nevertheless, I wanna remember it, and I'll appreciate it, and I would want to say my dear friends and family would too.

So I aim to not disappoint, but also not to go overboard. My 2nd dinner is a little subtle, free and easy, none of those frills, but it comes with definitely good food, and warmth of my closest friends...