Idealism

A friend of mine today asked me if she is being too idealistic at times ..to a point she's losing realism of things. But why, I ask her? It's OK to hold on to your idealism.... We need that sometimes. And whatever that keeps you going, you should keep it.

Many times, I hear people who says they are jaded. That oh, they are too old for that kind of idealism, that they are living in the 'real' world. But, really, I don't think there's anything wrong with being naive at times. Ask stupid questions if you have to. It's better than not to ask at all!

It's Ok to think corruption is bad and that you wish things were better. It's really better than just accepting it. Really, one day are we going to be so jaded that we're going to walk away when we see wrongdoings right at our face? Just dismiss it that oh, that's the real world we live in....I mean no wonder Malaysia is in the state that it's in. People just sit down there and criticize Dr M for trying to have a national car for Malaysia, but hey, at least he had a dream. At least he had an idealism, of what Malaysia could be.

I told my friend to hold on to it. It's OK and it's what keeps us motivated. People who are jaded I think are just lazy at times. Yes some thinks it's being realistic, but there are some who just can't be bothered even though they can do something about it. Now that's just sad.

Child Abuse

In UNICEF today, I heard them say that child abuse is not only abuse in a physical form but also mentally and emotionally. Some people that I see verbally abusing their child but sadly, they do not realize it is a form of abuse! Humiliation is one of it. Intimidation and dismissing a child is also a form of abuse.

"Emotional abuse can be the most difficult to identify because there are usually no outward signs of the abuse. Emotional abuse happens when yelling and anger go too far or when parents constantly criticize, threaten, or dismiss kids or teens until their self-esteem and feelings of self-worth are damaged. Emotional abuse can hurt and cause damage just as physical abuse does."

Perhaps Asians do it so often that they dont realize it. But how many of you have witnessed verbal abuse in some form here? Like telling a child that he would never amount to anything, dismissing a child whenever he attempts at anything because well, he's never done good in anything so why should it be any different now?, or ignoring a child's opinion disregarding his take on anything, bullying the child by jeering and throwing insults at him (sadly, I do sometimes see this, why? ).

Look around you, and stop verbal abuse.

Responsibility

It is such a big and serious word. It's something we Asians are proud of, that we carry that in WHATEVER we do. Whether in performing our duties as first a child, a student, an employee, an employer, a father/mother as we live. We try to fulfill to our best what we define as a responsibility.

But when do we stop? It's a fair line, I'd say between responsibility and a doormat. Some people take advantage of you, and sometimes even your relative or family can do that to you too. I've always believed that even if someone is taking advantage of me, depending on how severe, and if it's part of fulfilling my responsibility, JUST DO IT. Because I have faith in god and that god is watching over us anyways. And now you'd ask, how to just the severity of it. If it was just for a meal, heck, it's Ok. If we're talking about millions of dollars and I can afford it, WHY NOT.

But if someone is manipulating your sense of responsibility to their full advantage, to help to upkeep their lives...and to obviously make a fool out of you, well then maybe it's time to call it quits. I'm thankful that my parents have never made me feel that I am forced to fulfill my responsibility, the way that they have treated me, it's an honor for me to be able to take them out for dinner, to buy them something/anything just because they've never ever wanted anything from me. I've never felt that I was burdened or that I'm carrying a weight of responsibility. Not many people know what a luxury that is. That's because I know some people who hold their kids ransom just because they think they reserve the rights to do so as the people who brought them to life in this world. A friend of mine said he's never asked to be brought into this world, and so why should his parents think that he has to fulfill his duties as a son. That's really not a filial thing to say. But matters of the heart is complicated. he cannot control how he feels and you can't tell someone you CANNOT feel that way.

For this, I'm thankful. And some parents do not know that the more they push the child to feel responsible for them, the more they shy away from them.

Us and Technology

When you want to organize a party...

Put up a facebook invitation. I know it's not cool to invite someone to a wedding via facebook invitation, but it's good to be used as a tracker I think. Just so you dont miss anyone out. But a personal call I think is still necessary. Keep the brotherhood and sisterhood alive!

When you want to call someone..

It wasn't good enough to be able to just make a phone call, it had to be via a mobile phone, facebook, iphone, whatsapp. I remember I had to locate a relative about a death in the family, and because his phone was switched off while in the US, i had to facebook his SON. it took 1 week of calling, and finally 1 day via Facebook to locate him. When I initially started using ICQ, then MSN Messenger, I thought wow, the world is flat. Then we have Skype, gChat, etc, and now my office Communicator I can make calls and people can call me via the communicator without having a phone at all. But I dunno about you, but we're so accessible these days, that I secretly switch off everything at times. I dont switch on my fbchat....or my messenger anymore, and only gchat occasionally. the office communicator is enough to keep me busy and that's not something i can opt to switch off unfortunately!

When you want to have a face to face meeting...

It used to be when we had to set up a f2f meeting, brave the traffic jam and get to someone's office. I missed that really, despite the jam. Nothing like interpersonal touch. Now, we have to skype, video conferencing, livemeeting etc, and if all fails, just do a conference call? It's been years of working really in a virtual environment but I never got the itch off wondering how the other person in the other side of the world looks like. Hey this also reduce travel :( at work.

When you want to find a restaurant to eat...

We used to rely on word of mouth, calling someone "eh tell me how to get there". Now we have food blogs to do research, iPhone apps to read reviews...GPS to take us there. I was eating at a restaurant yesterday and Andrew was pissed off because of the portion served was really small, and it was highly recommended by food bloggers (WTF) , overrated, and we went to the one next door which was our favourite. Anyways, Andrew immediately commented via an app called Foursquare to review (i know, i should ban iphone-ing semasa makan soon). There's no chance to be shortchanged these days, but then you get dumbo, blogging-for-money idiots who has no whatsoever culinary sense. Hey someone should blog about these stupid food bloggers. I understand disclaimers that it's based on individual's taste, but cmon, Coffee Chemistry in Giza? Betty Midwest Kitchen in Aman Suria? gosh.

For travelling purpose...

I used to rely on wikipedia and Lonely Planet and all sorts of guide books for information. Nowadays, because we're so busy, all research done is really last minute, and only when I actually get on the plane that I have a blank mind to finally go with full force on a holiday. So, with technology actually, it has been so much more convenient to check for info, either via GPS, or via iPhone apps, or via internet cafes/kiosks that are everywhere in any country. No more heavy books!

And so, there are pros and cons. But embrace technology if it makes sense. But what makes sense is subjective to the individual. E.g. I dont sms or fb my mom. She smses me one liners at times. "come for dinner", and I'll call her back. My dad's a little bit more technology savvy so I read his blog and smses him. hehe. But we make it a point to see them FACE TO FACE every week. The presence is important. I dont like my coffee-of-the-day with imn and eva virtually :( because there's nothing like a live gossip! So same as work life balance, we need to have a life techno balance. It that makes sense at all. Haha.