Saturday, April 15, 2017

The Channel

i sat through a discussion yesterday trying to grasp what a digital marketing person want my vendor to produce. Digital marketing guy is asking me to channel it to my vendor because he thinks that I get it and the vendor doesn't. Of course, I think my vendor does get it- but choose to pretend he doesn't, hoping that he will get away without doing it. 

Repeat this 3 times a day for different scenarios, it could be engineering works, marketing, partnership- everyone seems to play this game and I am the moderator/ counselor/instigator/culprit most of the time. 

I wonder if people understand that we sweat the small stuff- what's important in their lives?  I met someone who made a remark to me " you are just like me- we just wanna get the job done". End of rant

Saturday, April 08, 2017

Minimalist

People always complicate things - work, holiday, travel, logistics. It could also be I am getting old I guess. Things are simple to me - I know what I want and I just do it if I have the means and time. I declutter every weekend if I could- throwing out things that has no value to me ( people
Who know me would say that I hardly own anything). I donate what I can- Lucas is very privileged ; he had enough toys to last an orphanage, great boh bohs and grandparents that buy him lots of clothes and toys. But truly he has too many he tends to forget he has such and such toys. It may come as a shock to some people but I only have less than 10 pairs of shoes - work/sports/leisure. I don't even carry a handbag to work, everything in the mandatory laptop bag, for security reason and I really don't fancy carrying a handbag. Something most women would not understand hahah. My boss who is the complete opposite of me says I am a plain Jane. To be honest I am not at all offended - it is what makes me who I am. Owning something does not make me happy- maybe just slightly hehehe. What makes me happy well that's another post all together. 

Sunday, March 05, 2017

Young Ones

Where I work now I deal with lots of young people in Marketing.... young, energetic and great bunch.  I have to say that millennial this and that or Gen XY this and that are all bullshit. I love the energy that they exude. It's also bullshit to generalise them because just as in my generation there are also different types amongst us. This great bunch that I work worth are never afraid to ask  and learn, they are focused and driven. I respect them on every level- I told my boss the other day that we are never one person's coach because very often we get coached as well- we learn from each other without us knowing it..... I think if we seek for knowledge and be humble to listen, we all can learn. Just because they are younger it doesn't mean that we have nothing to learn from them. Over lunch  with them I learnt that they discovered very early not to take money for granted--and that I should really let Lucas a chance to learn Mandarin. While I know it's an advantage I didn't think of it as a necessity. On days when I need and uplift , their energy really helps.... all the ideas churning sessions- love it ! So those in my generation, before we start generalising the young ones -hear them out and you may learn something today 

Saturday, February 18, 2017

Blessed

This is the year to be thankful for many things. My parents for always being there for me to support me still. It's the peace of mind when I am struggling at work that I would never have to worry about Lucas or dinner or housework..... I don't know what I would do without them. 39 and I am blessed to still have them beside me. And Andrew for managing Lucas in an area where I could never excel in -
Play.

Am also grateful for my new role - albeit still in the same company, the struggle of a new environment is eased with my ever funny partner in crime, a boss that I can work with and my boss' boss who is I think probably the best leader in this company. She is selfless, understanding, funny, caring yet demanding and nurturing. Not easy to strike that balance. How do you push someone to greater heights without stressing them out ! For that I am thankful and I hope she never leaves her role!!!! CP , I worry about your health though . We must remember that in our bleakest moment it is not the work that we reminisce on... 

Sunday, May 29, 2016

Circle of life

It's been a whirlwind quarter- new job and new experiences. It has also rekindled some of my favourite friendships- isn't it odd how at your most darkest moment that your true friends appear. I think I am still adapting to a new job, new boss, new environment but it's not my first experience. It always seem that it's been everchanging for me - I am yet challenging my comfort zone. It was just maybe 2-3 months ago, my good friend told me in an interview ( I was interviewing him with my boss) that it was the 2nd time in a decade that he was interviewed by me. I must admit that send chills down my spine. So much has happened in a decade, and here we are like a bad tape.
While it is a new job and experience it is a repeat of what I go through year in year out. Change. Frustration. Excitement. Perseverance. A lot of hard work. "If you are going through hell, keep going"- Winston Churchill 

Charity

It amazes me when I hear from friends who would do all sorts of charity whether in church or for some random cause- it's just that I have never been that kind of girl. For some reason it just never really propelled me into ever putting others first that way unless it was a family member. These are strangers after all! My mother who is a Buddhist always tells me- charity starts from home. Why bother with others if you could not even manage your own family / help your relatives etc ? It may just seems strange to some people I think why I hardly donate, why I don't particular feel for any cause. I wonder if I am alone on this.

Sunday, December 27, 2015

2015

This year is all about work, health and family. Been a tough year juggling it all and some balls had to drop unfortunately. The new year started with me being diagnosed with hypertension and am still on meds - still work in progress and am aiming to be better by 2016. Work has been crazy, fun, exciting and exhausting , there were some exasperation - of failed project and unexpected outcomes but all shall be good learnings to take to 2016. Lucas is turning into a full grown toddler- I must remind myself he has very delicate spirit despite the mischief and stubbornness. My hope for 2016 is for all in the family to be well and stay well. Money is truly not everything and God almighty reminds us again and again every year. Life is short and we should really really appreciate one another. 

Sunday, August 02, 2015

March on

It's been a while , dear blog. What a ride this year has been so far. Work has been crazy and Lucas has grown sooooo much. he is 3 and half - not potty trained 😬, and a real chatterbox now. Whenever I am down with work and need a boost, I just need to give the little one a hug and everything just seems alright. Today he took his sunglasses (rm5 from daiso) and he transformed it into a triangle....a moon....a crab. He beats me at creativity for sure. Work wise, I went to Singspore last week to be s panel speaker- very big deal for me since it's a much coveted summit for peers in this industry.  Was nervous and glad it is over now. This year is also a trying year for the industry that I am in and needless to say this year sees me overloaded but still in high spirits. I am one of those who does not dread Monday mornings. As winston Churchill said " if u are going through hell - march on! 

Tuesday, April 08, 2014

Words

Lucas has moved from one word to a real chatterbox.
Things he is saying these days .....
Baby Here!!
Hit the ball
Mummy's phone/shoe/shirt
Santa Claus Ho ho ho
Cannot cry/scratch
Come!
Uncle/kor kor/Jie Jie Drum
Draw drum/cup
Poo poo chow chow
Put eye medicine
Take the book
Go outside
Wear shoes
 So proud of u my little preemie boy!

Wednesday, February 05, 2014

Is this a norm?

After a chat with my close friends I realize we fall into the trap of mommying the husband. Is it because we are more efficient or too anal ? It is the husband just plain out to annoy us by being defiant or are we simply asking for too much??? Perhaps it's time to reevaluate some of our priorities. I must admit my son comes first because he is a child and a child depends on us for almost everything. Many is in the opinion that the woman must almost fulfil every single role - the mother and the wife. But no one speaks of what a man should do as a husband. While the husband is always said to be neglected but no one feels for the woman when she is sidelined by the husband. I like to think that this is not a norm because I do hear of husbands who would give a pat of encouragement for the wife who toiled the whole day for the child.... Or the husband who still remembers to buy flowers and gifts, or at least a simple thank you on a really tough day at home. 

Monday, November 11, 2013

Counting my blessings

I Hv been meaning to post this. I count my blessing everyday that I have a chance to be a mummy to Lucas, a husband who is devoted to the family, parents who help me in my journey and supportive sisters. I find that there is nothing I can do ever to show my gratitude. Have u ever felt this way before. Family who does leaps and bounds for no other reason than love. I hope Lucas continues to grow up surrounded with love from everyone. It is times like this that I wish for nothing else but that the moment stays stagnant forever where nobody ever leaves us. It has always been my fear that I would lose someone I love. Especially family. It was not easy to accept the demise of my grandma and really I am not sure how I would handle losing another loved one. I hope we stay like this forever  .

Thursday, September 05, 2013

You will never walk alone

"You will never walk alone". And yet I have never been more alone at times in this journey as a working mother and wife. There are times when I am beyond exhaustion that I just do not want to say anything anymore. Mom thinks I have had it easy already and I do agree to some degree. I don't need to worry about babysitter or my dinners after work because my mom takes care of these two most important area. And only one child. 

I do agree but we live in an era where work is more competitive and stressful. I am one of those who don't really compare with others but it does not mean I stop keeping up and progressing in my career. I just don't go all out but I still gotta perform at least within the required benchmark. 

And at the same time I am all the time expected to cater to every aspect of my child's needs. Diapers, milk, clothes, feeding, bath time, sleep , night feeding, poo, books, diaper bag , snacks , water etc you name it. Me and only me. Let's not forget in between all this I still have housework. 

I know we women are born to juggle....but really I could use a break. It would be nice one day to come  home with all housework done... Or necessity get bought even before I could think of it, or bills get paid in advance. 

The house renovation is another big project and unfortunately the burden lies on me to get things together. I envy other women who don't need to lift a finger , and to have the assurance that everything gets taken cared of. In my case, nothing ever gets taken care of without my intervention !

You may say I need to chill and let others do the worrying but no. Not when money is involved. Too much is at stake. Like I can wait till someone else do the housework but hygiene would be compromised and it doesn't go down well when you have a kid. Or wait for the house Reno to get sorted out on its own but no. I am paying for two homes now..

My colleague asked me one day why my whatsapp status was Persevere. If I do not persevere then what else I could do? Cry? I like to think I am a fighter and choose to soldier on. Even if I have to walk alone.

Friday, August 30, 2013

Independence

Once you become a mother you suddenly find your time locked down - you need to be home on time to fetch your kid either from the babysitter or in my case from my mom. You also gotta learn to juggle your time on your own like when to do your housework and simple things like shaving your legs.

For the longest time I didn't have the courage to strap Lucas on the car seat and drive him home myself. Because he will fuss and cry. Also coz I was coward. Both of us had to take him home or if he can't then my mom. Logistics nightmare. Few weeks back when my mom had a health scare I decided to brave the jam with Lucas. So far so good, I just need to throw toys at him and feed him honey stars. I consider this a major win for myself.

One step at a time. My next challenge - lunchtime with Lucas in a joint. I have done it before but have never driven out. Think I will walk somewhere nearby for now

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

A new hobby

I have had few hobbies but things kinda stopped when Lucas came along. But it's time to resurrect some or embark on new ones if possible. It used to be cooking, music, movies, travelling. I wish to resurrect these soon. And blogging too. That needs some attention now. Currently I love interior designing also because I am renovating our new home! Suddenly kitchen cabinets, lights, taps and etc sounds exciting these days!

Someone somewhere said we shouldn't stop having hobbies just because we became mummies. Peace.

Sunday, April 28, 2013

My innocent child

My toddler squeal in delight when I tickle him or pretend to eat his legs. Sometimes I whisper to him to call daddy. I love his wide eyes that stares into mine. And then he flashes a big smile it really melts me. Till today he still kisses me before he gets into the tub..... Hihi .he has been a little grabby too these days😁.
In the back of my mind I wish he could be my baby forever but if course he has to learn to walk, to self feed, to talk, to listen instruction. But more than ever I feel a need to equip him to face this big fat world. An ugly one too. In a way I m glad he is a boy, imagine all the worry I would have if I had a daughter!
I know one day he would probably be too busy for his mummy ,but that's ok. I hope my blog leaves him something to guide him. I might not know a lot but I guess I put a lot of my thoughts here.
It is exactly one week before I cast my vote. This is for you Lucas. I hope you see a better Malaysia.

Sunday, January 27, 2013

Respect

People have lost this value. Respect for oneself, for your wife, for the mother of a child. I have a thing about people trying to impose what they think is right to your chid just because of maybe hearsay, or just because they were mothers before. At times I like to listen first without judging because I do respect that these people have experience but I immediately get annoyed if one starts harping on it as if repeating themselves would make me do as they say. I think others should respect that my mom who is the caregiver and me the main caregiver have gotten this far and while we may not be the best but we must have gotten something right as Bubu hits his eleventh month! The most annoying is about having porridge. Sounds so trivial but really it does get to me. My mom doesn't believe in porridge and who am I to judge her, she raised me just fine so I listen to her reasoning and leave it as that.

I also find it annoying people tend to take Bubu as some trophy. Real love you think? I think real love is the sleepless nights, the feedings, the playtime, the poo poo episodes, the endless morning and evening walks, the days when he is sick that we pour in for the past 11 months. People like to snatch him away from him as if to distract him sometimes without asking me, all because he will stick to mummy. People don't read enough to know that this is not right as it would build unnecessary trauma of being snatched and being abandoned. Babies don't know enough to know that you are just fooling around with him. Well, at least have the decency to ask the Mother first before attempting on any stunts you think is right.

The ,it's goes on and on. Finally it really just boils down to respect. What works with other babies may not work for Bubu. Respect that the mother has toiled 9 months and we should know best. 
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