Omission is a form of Betrayal

Years ago, I wrote about this, about how omitting the truth is also a form of betrayal. Recently a good friend of mine reminded me of that again. He has is already attached but has a reputation for being really popular with the ladies at work. I've known him for a while and knows that he flirts harmlessly although he denies it and says he treats all of them as friends. HAHA. I then pointed out that he treats me as a FRIEND and not the rest, oh no. I also pointed out that if truly he treats them as friends, then why's he TRYING so hard to justify it to me. (we have a friendship setting that allows me to question him like this :))

I guess that caught him a little bit, that yes, it may be harmless flirting, but he's leading them on nevertheless. And while he's doing all this, the trusting girlfriend suspects nothing. And yes perhaps things that you do not know doesn't hurt you, it doesn't make it right either.

And mind you, just days ago he was telling me about his indecisiveness to take the relationship further by tying the knot. And so I've pointed out that let's work on you giving up the whole 'forest' for one single tree first before you worry about anything else.:) We've already established that the girl is the ONE for him, but is he the right one for her. Just because she is unaware of his 'activity' at work, it doesnt mean it's alright. If I knew my husband is flirting with other girls and forming a reputation for that on top of it all, I would be very disappointed.

Any relationship is built on Trust. Let's get that right.

The Zen Me

Recently I had a conversation with a colleague of mine. She's a real talent but sometimes can be perceived as too ambitious, but really I dont think there's anything wrong with that. In fact I told her to just be herself and not to worry too much. Although I did say at times being too much of a perfectionist can sometimes backfire. Especially if you're a leader, while trying to seek perfection from your team, there should be a balance in matching every individual's wants & needs, and interest. You can't force your level of perfection on others. In short, as what Tache always say, if you can't change the world, change yourself. I hope she took my advice well, as I do see she has potential, just that she's pissed off many people along the way and in my opinion, really unintentionally. Life's a bummer, right?

She did however pointed out that I am a real optimist, always seeing the good in everything. See there was something she did that may have pissed everyone, but not me, as I thought it was not entirely her fault. I guess she knew I didnt think of her that way hence we talked about it. Well, I mean, what's wrong with giving people benefit of the doubt. Nothing to lose mah. And I'll rather not harp on who's to blame but rather what to do next? She thinks that because of my demeanor, people tend to relax around me and confide in me, and that I bring out the zen in others (Wow....hahaha). Which was why some of our colleagues are close to me, in which she says that it is an advantage. If I'm ambitious, then it'll work out for me because no one would suspect anything and take people by surprise. If i'm not ambitious, well I'll just breeze through work and have lots of friends and support along the way.

Fortunately, I'm not really ambitious, although I do want to excel in what I do, I dont really think too much of it. There's really more to life and I want to make sure I dont miss out on the other good stuff. She thinks I have potential to go further, but really to be honest, it's not the first time I hear this, but I'll rather keep a low profile, because I think that's the key to survival. I'll rather be happy going to work and be left alone to do my work. Everyone measures job satisfaction differently. You may think I'm too complacent, but then, why not?

News

This week was full of news. Good and bad. But I dont think it is bad news as it's always good to know and find a solution rather than sweeping it under the carpet. That's what Mom said. It's amazing what our family has gone through over the past decade that nothing fazes us anymore. It is a test of faith and we just need to move along and confront it with a smile really. Although there are some of us in the family who cannot do anything, it's really alright because sometimes a little support is all one needs. Afterall we are not the one who has to go under the knife. So just move along and not fret over it. It is life and no point to be miserable about it.

Mom and dad are amazing. As sis broke the news to dad, he was calm as usual. I then broke the news to mom and she was objective, only asking when does sis need her, not bothering with the details of the medical complications. She said "ahhh, we've been through similar crisis, you guys gotta give me more credit, I can handle anything...hehe". Sometimes we forget mom's a trouper. Tache seems fine (maybe that little episod you had over new year was timely!) and crazily she reminded me of mom - being objective about it all. So anyways, I remember she once told me that if you can't change the world, change yourself! or change how we react to things.

So here's wishing Alvyn all the best. We may not be able to do anything but we support you! Just focus on taking care of yourself, because taking care of yourself means taking care of your family. Good Luck!

Staying Positive at Work

Easier said than done really but I think it's really mind over matter at times... (unless everyday you feel like killing yourself or someone or everyone at work!). I tend to make it a point to LOVE going to work every morning. I love it that in the mornings I'm the first one there for the normal day shift. There are those from the night shift that would linger on and I'll chat with one or 2 of them. It's also my quiet time to catch up with emails while having my morning drink. Well I start at 7am and people only start trickling in at 9am! so it's a good 2 solid hours of power hour just replying or doing some work quietly.

I spend my mornings also catching up with colleagues even if it's just a short chat. The morning drags on until 11am and I'll be anticipating lunch! Nowadays it's just bread or a snack at the panty, but you know, we need that short break. Talk cock sing song or just to have a meaningless chatter at lunch is really rejuvenating. A break from really serious stuff.

Because not long after that, it's power hour in the afternoon. My afternoons tend to be short since I leave at 4 or 4.30pm. I make it a point to go home ontime because really there's no point in dragging work till late evening when you're out of focus and feeling HUNGRY. Anything can wait till the next day really. One more email is not going to make any difference!

And that's how I stay positive at work. Friends, endless chatter (this has worked in all my jobs!), lunch, and in general just make every hour worthwhile so you dont have to stay till late evening.