"You will never walk alone". And yet I have never been more alone at times in this journey as a working mother and wife. There are times when I am beyond exhaustion that I just do not want to say anything anymore. Mom thinks I have had it easy already and I do agree to some degree. I don't need to worry about babysitter or my dinners after work because my mom takes care of these two most important area. And only one child.
I do agree but we live in an era where work is more competitive and stressful. I am one of those who don't really compare with others but it does not mean I stop keeping up and progressing in my career. I just don't go all out but I still gotta perform at least within the required benchmark.
And at the same time I am all the time expected to cater to every aspect of my child's needs. Diapers, milk, clothes, feeding, bath time, sleep , night feeding, poo, books, diaper bag , snacks , water etc you name it. Me and only me. Let's not forget in between all this I still have housework.
I know we women are born to juggle....but really I could use a break. It would be nice one day to come home with all housework done... Or necessity get bought even before I could think of it, or bills get paid in advance.
The house renovation is another big project and unfortunately the burden lies on me to get things together. I envy other women who don't need to lift a finger , and to have the assurance that everything gets taken cared of. In my case, nothing ever gets taken care of without my intervention !
You may say I need to chill and let others do the worrying but no. Not when money is involved. Too much is at stake. Like I can wait till someone else do the housework but hygiene would be compromised and it doesn't go down well when you have a kid. Or wait for the house Reno to get sorted out on its own but no. I am paying for two homes now..
My colleague asked me one day why my whatsapp status was Persevere. If I do not persevere then what else I could do? Cry? I like to think I am a fighter and choose to soldier on. Even if I have to walk alone.
