Attention Seekers

I had an interesting conversation with someone who said that growing up she knew that she never belonged in the popular group. I think so was I. I didn't really know why and didn't care really why some girls in my class always wants to be either the smartest, the prettiest, the most athletic, and the most popular. I'm sure most of them had wanted to be the best in what they do. But that girl who always wants to be the MOST POPULAR are usually an attention seeker.

That has never changed even at work. Someone is always wanting to be the MOST POPULAR. You have to understand that I've seen these kind of people year in year out all my life so yeah, I can easily spot one! They will do anything to get attention. Well, really if you ask me, I dont really give a damn. What I find really sorely disappointing is that these attention seekers usually are very self centered.

You know, those who are really saying something to you but not really conversing with you, because their eyes shift elsewhere, or their saying something that usually CENTERS around them. Example: if I say, hey I just bought a new car. Mr Popularity may just say, "what car did you get? Ohyea, and you know I've driven so many cars, porsches, beemers, merc blablabla. Like just last week i went on a trip to see F1...complimentary tickets...blablablabla...." And all the time, Mr Popularity is not really looking at you, but it looks like he is rather making a statement and ANNOUNCING it to anyone he thinks could hear. You get the drift.

So in short, Attention Seekers are usually not attentative to what you tell them. Test them. Ask them if they remember something you told them about. I have the same people asking me about whether I'm married or whether I have kids (I dont have one). It'll be like " hey, who's taking care of your child while you're away?", "when did you get married again?" " how old is your child again?" Now that just really pisses me off. I mean, I dont really demand for someone to be tentative to trivial stuff like how many moles I have (in case I may hv flippantly mentioned that), or when is my menstrual cycle, or how many annual leave I have...blablabla. But I would at least someone to remember if I was married or not! hahaha, or have a kid or not!

SO that's why, I've always stayed away from attention seekers. We have nothing in common and really the conversations are usually dry (cause always talking about them mah). I must say there are some people who are popular, or who may be attention seekers, but they are still able to give you that equal attention you deserve. But very rare lah. You know, 80/20 rule. Have you met one?

Club Med

I just got back from a dept trip to Club Med. The rooms condition were bad but I guess that's because we didnt get the newly refurbished ones. On a more positive note, I had a lot of fun playing games and games and games. :) Drinks were free flow but I did not drink much. RM1K seems pretty OK if you consider the food, liquor, activities, the sun, fun and yoga by the beach etc etc etc, for 3 days 2 nights. It was actually not too bad. Lots of bonding and having fun. I especially liked badminton and yoga by the beach ...it felt blissful to be away from everything. I didnt have to think about bills, housework, work, etc etc. The moment I came home, all the stress comes flooding in. :( All in all, it was good times and am glad I went despite all the uncertainties ( we had an awful program that had a lot of indoor games- that was scrapped last minute :) )

Another Casualty

Yet another casualty in marriage! A good friend of mine just announced that he's getting a divorce 4 years and a child later. The reason was plainly he has never loved her before! And really folks, this is not the first time I'm hearing this, whether from a female friend, or a male friend.

And it's always about settling for 2nd best, or that out of obligation that they stayed on with the partner, well yeah, after 7-8 years of paktoh-ing. Or that they realize just too late that they were not really compatible with their partners....

Makes you wonder if the underlying reason is because we do not spend enough time to assess our partners and measure our compatibility? Or did we marry because of peer and family pressure, or just the pressure to just settle down, get married, have kids the whole works of it all? Or is it because we in general no longer hold dear the matrimony of marriage hence we can't commit ? Or do we just take our partners for granted after few years, and think you deserve better after all?

While everything is fluffy and nice in the beginnings of a marriage, things get real ugly when you're getting through a divorce. My friend is going through paranoia, anxiety, worry, fear, etc etc. Suddenly you need to get a lawyer just to put your rights and thoughts in perspective, especially if there's a child involved in the whole equation. People get so jaded these days and would just say "Aiya, so common nowadays", "it will take 2 years tops, and let me know if you need me to introduce my lawyer to you".

It's kinda sad to know that in the expense of progress and modernization, I find people take marriage too lightly, and I could say many of my friends do take their partners for granted. I say, take a step back, and think hard. Marriage is a union, not a game.

OCD???????

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder: I was helping a friend last night coming up with a checklist of everything that we need to ensure would be in order for an upcoming trip. And she said to unleash the OCD in me and think of everything that could ever go wrong or any nitty gritty details that we could have missed out.

Scary, I really find myself filled with paranoia and trying to literally cover ALL bases to ensure that nothing gets through my claws really. While this could be a good trait at work, because you don't get anything pass you, it can be really exhausting because you tend to be really hard on yourself since you are your own benchmark! Not that you can help it. OCD mah.

Like, I could never leave home if I was to spot a pillow that's not sitting perfectly upright on the couch. I've tried to just not do anything about it and LEAVE. But I'll be thinking about it the whole damn day and so as soon as I come home, I'll spank the pillow up and make sure it's straight! Gosh. There's just this nagging feeling in me where I gotta have everything in an orderly manner, I practically have everything at the same position, like the coasters, the plates etc.

So you can't imagine what's it like when I cook. The amount of cleaning I gotta do after each meal. *Groan* My mom was saying how lucky that my husband doesn't get to enter the kitchen at all....That's because his cleaning is never good enough for me! Sigh. Sometimes I would re-wash whatever he's washed...secretly, else he'll think I'm a cuckoo. (well, now he'll know when he reads this!).

While I dont think my house is spick and span....I know for sure that everything sits in a straight line and in order too. I dont just do spring cleaning once a year but every now and then, ya know. The funny thing is that my dad called me WORM when I was a child because of that, I was always arranging stuff at home!

Exhausting but I wonder, who else out there share the same predicament?

Facebook

Hey, I use facebook all the time. I use it to keep in touch with friends, to stay connected and drop a comment or two for fun, and if it's anything personal, I would send them a message. I guess there is no hard and fast rule on how to use facebook. it's your space and your right.

and it's also other people's right who perhaps find you offensive or for many other reasons then other people could also either HIDE all posts by your, or UNFRIEND you. Either way, facebook is all about freedom of speech and expression!

And so yeah, I may have then UNFRIEND you because:

1) you're constantly ranting about where you've been and how's it compared to all the other places you've been. There's a big difference between "i love taiwan a lot and would love to go there again" and "customer service in first class en route to Frankfurt, SIA anytime etc etc". While I would love to hear about where you've been, I don't like reading people telling me about places but intentionally dropping hints what a jetsetter you are.

2) you're getting way overboard with the mushies with your other half. while it's nice to see you post about how you've celebrated your anniversary, or even how you had a great wedding ceremony etc, I don't need to see declaration of love CONSTANTLY or 'hubby: muaks" etc and the exchange of love goes on and on and on.

3) you try to appear mystical and ethereal by posting status that is an open ended clue or a riddle that with underlying emo-ness. If you have something to say, be transparent, else take it offline. I just dont know how to react to status updates that are too emo.

4) you can't shutup! while I love to hear about you, I dont need to hear about you EVERY FUCKING HOUR. there are just some people who updates about waking up, then going to toilet, then going for breakfast, then to lunch, then work, then getting off work, then about the jam, dinner, then about going to sleep, or not going to sleep, or about to sleep or just not getting enough sleep! OMG. it's information overload and nonsense for one thing!

5) you spread rumours on facebook. I think most of us have been victims at some point in the facebook world. like the little rumor that i was pregnant before my wedding. nuff said.