Yet another casualty in marriage! A good friend of mine just announced that he's getting a divorce 4 years and a child later. The reason was plainly he has never loved her before! And really folks, this is not the first time I'm hearing this, whether from a female friend, or a male friend.
And it's always about settling for 2nd best, or that out of obligation that they stayed on with the partner, well yeah, after 7-8 years of paktoh-ing. Or that they realize just too late that they were not really compatible with their partners....
Makes you wonder if the underlying reason is because we do not spend enough time to assess our partners and measure our compatibility? Or did we marry because of peer and family pressure, or just the pressure to just settle down, get married, have kids the whole works of it all? Or is it because we in general no longer hold dear the matrimony of marriage hence we can't commit ? Or do we just take our partners for granted after few years, and think you deserve better after all?
While everything is fluffy and nice in the beginnings of a marriage, things get real ugly when you're getting through a divorce. My friend is going through paranoia, anxiety, worry, fear, etc etc. Suddenly you need to get a lawyer just to put your rights and thoughts in perspective, especially if there's a child involved in the whole equation. People get so jaded these days and would just say "Aiya, so common nowadays", "it will take 2 years tops, and let me know if you need me to introduce my lawyer to you".
It's kinda sad to know that in the expense of progress and modernization, I find people take marriage too lightly, and I could say many of my friends do take their partners for granted. I say, take a step back, and think hard. Marriage is a union, not a game.