Saturday, August 11, 2012

The Other Me

Met my two old buddies from university today for a catch up session. One is married without kid, and the other has a 14 month old tagging along. I brought Lucas and Andrew came along. Well, nowadays I don't go anywhere with Lucas without Andrew. I am just not good at that yet somehow. And here is my friend with her 14 month old, chasing after him while yakking with us and even attempted to carry Lucas. Some women just have the flair with kids! The other friend pointed out that I looked so worn out compared to her... I couldn't agree more! We are close that way so we can throw comments like that at each other.

I want to be the good mother maybe to the extent of providing basic needs like giving him a shower, feeding or putting him to sleep. When it comes to playtime, daddy is the man. It just doesn't come naturally to me. I could sing nursery rhymes because I have many i know by heart but that is as far as it goes. Andrew could think of Mr Bug, Mr Rabbit etc etc and spend hours at playtime.

So I guess this is how our partnership goes. Daddy plays with Lucas and I provide him the bare necessities. Friend says we havent really have a good collaboration yet, but I guess it will take time. We have gone a long way from not even being able to carry and feed him properly, least now we could take him out on our own and spend a wholesome weekend with Lucas.

I did point out that motherhood doesn't come with a manual. And that not every woman is born with the maternal instincts despite what books say! I love Lucas to bits and love spending time with him but I truly am not sure if I could be a stay-at-home mom. I recently joined a mummies forum on fb and really those gungho mummies just make the rest of us feel really inadequate.

But I guess it is just how much you want that to affect you. I accept my shortcomings and will work around it. Even Lucas now knows to turn to daddy for playtime and me for nap time! Babies! You think they are cut and helpless but they really are not! Wound me and Andrew round his tiny little crooked last finger! ( genetically crooked).

In a way I am glad I got a boy. Cannot imagine if my 'daughter' wanna do girlie stuff with me. Absolute failure in that area!

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