Monday, September 28, 2009

Siapa Jaga?

I had an interesting conversation with a friend, a mother of 3 boys. In her mid 40s already, she was telling me that she'll probably work until she could no longer work anymore. The reason was that she did not want to burden her 3 sons. She said people may think that she should not have to worry about her livelihood because either one of the 3 sons will take care of her. But, to her, it should not be an obligation, and she does not want either of her 3 sons to feel burdened. She'll rather her sons be financially sound and able to build their own families.

Others may feel otherwise. "You are the son and you have to start paying 'maintenance fee' once you start working." "It's my right as the father/mother since I brought you to this world, and fed/bathe you since you were born."

It's quite different when you demand for something, rather than the child give to you without you asking for it.

Yes, as the child, we are all responsible to take care of our parents. But dont see it as a responsibility or an obligation. Dont you want to take care of your parents when they are old? Do you have the heart to shun them? If you see it as an honour, to be able to give back, to provide and to love, it's quite different, eh?

My friend today told me her grandmother has no where to go. Nobody wants to take care of her. 9 sons and 4 daughters. Sad isn't it.


Gallivanter said...

9 sons and 4 daughters? Your friend, can't she tell her mom/dad who's mother is that to have a freaking heart?

I've no heart to do such thing, and what my mother has sacrificed for me to fill the void left by my late dad, it would take me several lifetimes to return the sacrifice!

Herman Chew said...

Looking at one point of view, this may sound very cruel, 9 sons and 4 daughters --> no one is taking care of them (father & mother).

Looking at the other point of view, we rip what we sow. This has no exception on father, mother, son, daughter...etc..

If you can get what I mean...

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