I do believe it really takes a lot to change me. Well, duh, it took years to 'form' me! I am what I am and there are just some things that I just won't and can't change. Like my habits, my preference and my stand on certain things. Change in my job, or change in my marital status, or my age will not change this.
Have you ever been caught in a situation when some people want you to conform to what they think is the perfect or rightful daughter, son, daughter-in-law, son-in-law, employee, employer, mother, father etc. Have you ever had to speak or behave differently because others do not approve?
But it's true, over time, we need to 'change'. We cannot be self-centered and only do what we want. We'll have to compromise. But never compromise your principles. So hard to decide whether your principles are right or wrong though.
Like for instance, going home for the CNY eve. Say you're married, and traditionally, the wife should spend CNY eve at the husband's side. Over the years, people have compromised and now the husbands are ok to go back during alternate years. Is this wrong? My dad has no sons....and if all of us are not allowed to come back during CNY eve, who's gonna spend CNY eve with my parents? Although they are fine with it....reason being that we could always come back on the 1st day or 2nd day, but i guess it's not fine with me. I cannot imagine them being alone during CNY eve, and I guess I would not be enjoying CNY eve either.
My working environment is as such that everything is client-orientated. We need to do our best to make the client look good. My livelihood and sustainability relies on how they rate us. They are crude and chinaman-like and do not hesitate to tell you what they feel about the Indian subordinates and colleagues. Few times I had to bite my tongue, but my conscience tells me I should say something. And I did, but indirectly. It eats on me as I know they deserve better credit. At least they were more tactful and articulate when dealing with a problem, and not jump into unjust complaints laced with racism. When I share this, everyone says "learn to ignore". And I guess that helps.
Over the years, yes, I've had to deal with my own principles, modifying it and adjusting it when necessary. It's so hard to hold on to your cards sometimes. Sometimes we just need to let it go.