Saturday, January 05, 2008

The Other Half's Family...

Just recently i've had a friend whose seriously in deep shit after she realized that she's having problems with the MIL (mother-in-law) just few months after she and the husband registered for marriage. But then again, who doesnt have problems with the MIL? it's always the MIL, isn't it?

Which brings the question, does it matter what your other half's family is like? You can say well marriage is between 2 people etc etc but the truth is that once u marry that guy, you're marrying his family whether you like it or not. You can have your own place with your hubby but you're gonna still have to make an appearance for whatever 'important' occasion. There is no running away there.

Nagginess we can take, but what about kiamsiapness? or the MIL who won't let go of the son? The dad who is always drunk? And broke? The beat-up brother who's jobless and expects handouts even from you?

Are you sure you're not bothered by these things? I know of a friend who....
*broke off with the boyfriend because she found out he has a brother with Down's
*broke off an engagement because the MIL was controlling the son and turning the son against the wife
*broke off with the boyfriend who is constantly paying off the dad's debts...

Wrong you say? Or just being realistic? Cruel perhaps, but what would you do if you know you're bound to have a marriage laden with chaos and problems?


kyels said...

When women marry men; they are automatically married into his family whether she'd like it or not and it's really true that MILs love to give problems. It's really hard to find a good and tolerable MIL. Luckily my mother isn't a bitch and she told my siblings and I that she would not marry into our marriages and that she'd not control my two younger brothers' wives in the future.

One more thing that I find really annoying is that some mothers cannot learn how to let go of their child especially only sons in the family or only son and only child. It's like they have the need to control whatever he does or whomever he marries which I find annoying. And the son will always obey to the mother's wishes (actually, I've a friend who's an only child/son and he has never said NO to his mother all his life; he's 25 now). Best was, he told me that he'd like his mother to stay with him after he marries someone. Believe it or not, I think women this era won't choose that option; living with their worst nightmares.

Anyway, life is cruel and reality bites, noh?

Belle said...

marry the man.. marry the family. so true.but the drunk dad, jobless bro..IS TOO EXTREME.

there are so many friends of mine who cant even talk to mil because of the same reason. does not know how to let go her "child" and everything the son done wrong it goes to the wife's account. scary eh!

for me..i always think it doesnt matter how the mil sucks but the hubby ought to know his stands..having two important women in his life is aint easy..wifey needs to tolerate the old dragon.without the old dragon..don have hubby..true anot?

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