Craving for Affirmation

People are funny creatures. People around me are always wanting someone's approval, or another's compliment or someone else to say "you are really good". Who wouldn't want it? But to crave for it...... ? I would just do as I normally would and pray for the best. If I get recognised well yeay for me, and if I don't, the satisfaction of just getting the work done would suffice for me. Not everyone of course thinks the same. People will sometimes ask me - why nobody rewarded them for something that they clearly should get recognised for. Actually I know so many people who has this need to

Be recognised. And to find like minded people can be difficult. I know of 2 like minded colleagues and it's so easy to talk to them. We are not on the kiasu run. Kiasi maybe. And I don't seek for affirmation. Especially from people that I think are not opinion-worthy. We should just be contented - knowing that we have done our very best in everything that we set out to do.

Incompetence

That's the tag line for the week- incompetence of supplier/colleagues, incompetent leaders and incompetent teachers! I have spent the week with various parties almost like a broken record on why we do certain things and how we should do it. I have mentioned to the organisation boss that I am willing to help/teach/do as long as the person is willing to learn. At some point I had to admit some people are just taking on something they cannot handle. They lack the competence to handle any conflicts whether big or small. It can be very "menyampah" working with people in my company who has not worked outside before. Always offering flowery solutions before real diagnosis. I have had bosses before who would have grilled me if I had done that -It didn't matter if I had to dismantle a car or a defective part Or troubleshoot a machine, just get it right. And stop wasting everyone else' time.

The one that is really beyond my control are incompetent leaders... especially if they are my leaders. Sure we have platforms to raise our concerns - but incompetent leaders as I mentioned to my boss need to humble themselves and learn! Whether it hurts their egos or not- I don't really care because incompetent leaders make the subordinates life miserable when the subordinates know the governance and processes better.  If your basics and foundation are weak then you lose all credibility. Zilch. I shut out when they speak. I did confront the person only to reaffirm my stand. I still did whatever I was told to but not without a fight.

It was just Thursday when I sat through what must have been the most unfulfilling business review with a partner who absolutely came prepared to grill us and the supposed leaders in their fluffiness and lack of thorough plan......I sat there baffled that I have worked in worse companies and despite lacking in education, they never let the suppliers hold their balls, they would never enter a meeting without a plan to walk away with what they want. 

And next incompetent teachers- I know Malaysia is full of them, but I don't like to walk out of an issue without having tried my best. And so Lucas scored zero for his Chinese spelling test. The teacher asked for my signature. I signed of course but I queried if the words were too difficult, was there something we can do? Of course I was being naive- she did not reply me however subsequently the words became less difficult.I guess from a teacher I have expected a response. I plan to have a 1:1 with her when report card day comes. 

Yes all in a gist of 5 days. But all , we shouldn't give up . If people are incompetent it doesn't mean we accept it. If you accept it, you are the moron.  I always think one tiny step is better than nothing. Take the step to intervene or do just anything, at least we walk away having tried our best.

Double appreciation

Thursday has been a day of gratefulness. I was really very tired and the thought of going off site for a dispute meeting was not helping at all. Just few days ago on a Sunday I was told I need to cover for a project temporarily due to resource constraints. I was on a double shift almost because stakeholders were demanding. Honestly the thought of going for a holiday scares me because my work would be piling up. Was trying my very best to clear as much backlog as possible.

Then came the call from the MD secretary - the MD wants to see me and the shocked me was stunned to receive an appreciation gift from him for a crisis that happened 2 weeks ago. The humble man said that he knows I am very busy and would just like to take a moment to give me a pandora bracelet. My boss was happy of course she knew I was not the most feminine person around hahah. But it's the thought that counts. So unexpected , I think he has a flair of being unassuming.

On the same day my boss gave me a recognition award for some issues I have managed. She knows I am about to go for a personal trip that would costs me a bomb.

I am indeed blessed and feel truly appreciated. I have already been a silent reformer , an ant worker even so is often overlooked.  But the last few years has been great. Praying for a peaceful working days ahead though! Adios

Pengsan

A colleague pengsan this month - possibly burned out from all the bustle towards the biggest campaign this year. Sigh. Been telling people around me to take it easy. I gotta remind myself too. When I miss a deadline , when I miss the first 5 mins of a meeting, when I juggle 2-3 meetings st the same time...... the company does not collapse because of one person! I find myself pfffting over the really what to me is not the end of the world shit. I often sit through some conversations at work and think to myself why do people react the way they do. Like overreact. Overdoing. Over engineering. My good friend at work, he said something that he often says but only this week I truly get it. He said that we all should just sometimes take a chill pill, take a step back and evaluate if any of the things that we want to do is even in our control? Are we fighting a lost battle? At the end of the day- we are just in it for a ride so just enjoy it la. I spend less time fretting over the whys and hows. 

The Channel

i sat through a discussion yesterday trying to grasp what a digital marketing person want my vendor to produce. Digital marketing guy is asking me to channel it to my vendor because he thinks that I get it and the vendor doesn't. Of course, I think my vendor does get it- but choose to pretend he doesn't, hoping that he will get away without doing it. 

Repeat this 3 times a day for different scenarios, it could be engineering works, marketing, partnership- everyone seems to play this game and I am the moderator/ counselor/instigator/culprit most of the time. 

I wonder if people understand that we sweat the small stuff- what's important in their lives?  I met someone who made a remark to me " you are just like me- we just wanna get the job done". End of rant

Minimalist

People always complicate things - work, holiday, travel, logistics. It could also be I am getting old I guess. Things are simple to me - I know what I want and I just do it if I have the means and time. I declutter every weekend if I could- throwing out things that has no value to me ( people

Who know me would say that I hardly own anything). I donate what I can- Lucas is very privileged ; he had enough toys to last an orphanage, great boh bohs and grandparents that buy him lots of clothes and toys. But truly he has too many he tends to forget he has such and such toys. It may come as a shock to some people but I only have less than 10 pairs of shoes - work/sports/leisure. I don't even carry a handbag to work, everything in the mandatory laptop bag, for security reason and I really don't fancy carrying a handbag. Something most women would not understand hahah. My boss who is the complete opposite of me says I am a plain Jane. To be honest I am not at all offended - it is what makes me who I am. Owning something does not make me happy- maybe just slightly hehehe. What makes me happy well that's another post all together. 

Young Ones

Where I work now I deal with lots of young people in Marketing.... young, energetic and great bunch.  I have to say that millennial this and that or Gen XY this and that are all bullshit. I love the energy that they exude. It's also bullshit to generalise them because just as in my generation there are also different types amongst us. This great bunch that I work worth are never afraid to ask  and learn, they are focused and driven. I respect them on every level- I told my boss the other day that we are never one person's coach because very often we get coached as well- we learn from each other without us knowing it..... I think if we seek for knowledge and be humble to listen, we all can learn. Just because they are younger it doesn't mean that we have nothing to learn from them. Over lunch  with them I learnt that they discovered very early not to take money for granted--and that I should really let Lucas a chance to learn Mandarin. While I know it's an advantage I didn't think of it as a necessity. On days when I need and uplift , their energy really helps.... all the ideas churning sessions- love it ! So those in my generation, before we start generalising the young ones -hear them out and you may learn something today 

Blessed

This is the year to be thankful for many things. My parents for always being there for me to support me still. It's the peace of mind when I am struggling at work that I would never have to worry about Lucas or dinner or housework..... I don't know what I would do without them. 39 and I am blessed to still have them beside me. And Andrew for managing Lucas in an area where I could never excel in -

Play.

Am also grateful for my new role - albeit still in the same company, the struggle of a new environment is eased with my ever funny partner in crime, a boss that I can work with and my boss' boss who is I think probably the best leader in this company. She is selfless, understanding, funny, caring yet demanding and nurturing. Not easy to strike that balance. How do you push someone to greater heights without stressing them out ! For that I am thankful and I hope she never leaves her role!!!! CP , I worry about your health though . We must remember that in our bleakest moment it is not the work that we reminisce on...