Auntie Connie

My Aunt recently had a heart attack, and had ballooning done to remove blockage on one artery. My mum was devastated. Another one in the family to be admitted to the hospital. I've just been with my mom in and out of hospitals for the past 2 months.

When we got to the hospital she was already in the CCU (Critical Care Unit) and was doing fine. Chatting like before maybe just less energetic! She's the mother of my cousin brother who was sent to Ipoh years ago for disciplinary care by my mom.

A simpleton who is always energetic and humble, she never fails to enlighten me at times, with very simplistic solutions and conclusions. You dont know how hard that is nowadays when people tend to complicate matters. Just the other day she was asking me about when my wedding day was, and how she was looking forward to it. Made me realize that indeed it's true that weddings are never just about the couple, but it's not really such a bad thing if we are priviledged enough to give our elderly relatives a chance to gather for an event. There are some relatives who rely on their sons/daughters to chauffeur them over, so really, a gathering in a big way is really rare these days.

Take a Chill Pill

To achieve a stress-free and a happy life, make a conscious effort to take a chill pill. Imn says i'm a control freak, and yeah, she knows me best! But I guess, if i wanna live longer, i'm gonna have to need a constant supply of chill pill! Takes a constant reminder in my head to tell myself...RELAX....RELAX!

1) work is just work. a channel to help u realize your other dreams, to wheel you towards your goal. why get upset over things you can't control? just be happy that we even have a job nowadays! people at work complain constantly, and you know wat? I'm happy because I've had it worse. And I didnt complain that much even then, because as I told tache, I love going to work. If at any point you're starting to dread going to work, well, it's just not working out then. so take a chill pill. no one says you HAVE to work there. no one says it's the ONLY job in the world.

2) You can't change others, so change yourself. That's something tache said the other day. which is so true. in my case, i apply it to the way i react to things these days. Sometimes, people annoy me, or they say negative things, and refuse to listen even though it's for the better. Well, I can't change how others feel or think, so I can only stop GETTING ANNOYED with anything. If i change how i react or if i just DO NOT REACT, i dont get annoyed or irked. ignorance can be bliss at times!

3) Nothing is Perfect. No one is perfect. Not everything has to fall in order in everything you set out to do. I learn that while planning THE WEDDING. believe me, the wedding is everything I didnt plan it out to be. And it's actually BETTER! there are some hits and misses, but I'm still happy. It's a product of imperfection and effort from everyone, so TAKE A CHILL PILL! the wedding coordinator at the restaurant today must be very happy. I didnt complain about the food, or ask for freebies, or requested for anything.

So everyone, take a chill pill today. we all need it to stay sane!

Power of Affirmation

I've learned so much from my tache that I can barely blog fast enough about it. Power of Affirmation. Definition of Affirmation: the assertion that something exists or is true.

I think we all go through life having a certain perception of ourselves. If people say you're ugly, you think you're ugly all your life. It's really nothing to do with your confidence, but what if those people were wrong? most of the time, we're influenced by your family and your closest friends. Some people carry very low esteem of themselves because of that.

Recently I got a thank you from a close friend. Said that I was so instrumental in helping him and that things I've said have really woke him up! An affirmation from a friend! I must say i was astounded. I didnt think that anything I said ever had any impact on anyone. And it made me feel really good seriously. And even my tache said that i'm actually quite wise. Wow. Talk about a boost in how much you value yourself. Wouldnt you want to give someone that?

So as my sister advised, start giving people affirmation. It's really a positive thing. if you think someone has made a change in your life, however small the impact, say thank you to that person. Today.

Say No to Angst

it was a weekend of education and enlightment that my eldest sister has brought to us. No more angst, and no more stress! It's really how you perceive things and deal with problems etc that makes a difference. Everything really starts to become clearer and less stressful if you'd just follow these mantra.

1) You can't change others. so change yourself. change the way you react to things that irks u.

2) do not carry stress at work back to your home. You will affect the people who are the closest to you.

3) say that you love your parents, or your friends. even if it takes a tear or two. take that step.

4) give affirmation to people who deserves it. and anytime. people do not realize that you are appreciative. go ahead and make her/his day.

Of course there are also some rules:

1) there's a fine line between arrogance and confidence.

2) between complacency and laziness.

3) positive energy attracts positive things. it's the law of attraction, so discard all negative energy from yourself!

Quote of the day

One cannot afford to be innocent in Malaysia.....

Exasperating

I cannot in my life, fanthom nor understand why in this world are there people who refuse to learn how to drive. They'll rather rely on others to chauffeur them, and that is only at another person's convenience. Perhaps it is fear, perhaps it is ignorance, perhaps it's lack of independence. I have no idea. I have been brought up independent and was gung-ho to learn how to drive, albeit driving my sister's old volks (which was a scary experience in the hilly Bukit Damansara at that time).

My mom, 64, drives herself everywhere, whenever, small car ke, big car ke, you name it. She has in history driven to Melaka, Teluk Intan, KL, Ipoh, brave the corners and nooks of KL and PJ, and now Subang.

My dad, 70, is still driving up and down from KL to Ipoh, and driving himself to work till this day.

A relative of ours was forced to learn how to drive, because her husband passed away, and well, really, in times of emergency, would you really rather hail a cab, call a cab, than to drive a car that is already at your doorstep? It might be a minute too late. All just because of ignorance.

Harry Brown

A surprisingly good movie. None of the Hollywood drama, real and disturbing. Gives an insight of the other side of UK. Not everything is rosy. They too are gripped with fear of hooligans and gangsterism, just like us. Comparable to Gran Torino, although I do think this is way better.

Mercy Killing

or better known as Euthanasia. Yesterday I took my mom to visit her old friend (well, she literally has all WHITE hair!) at the Pantai Hospital in ampang. it was her 10th surgery the day after, and almost a month and a half at the hospital. She has cancer, but she still was her same old positive self.

She told us that she was ejek-ing a doctor the other day that she was all out for Mercy Killing. She said that if a dog was suffering, the vet has no qualms about putting the dog to sleep, so why can't the same be done to a human being who is suffering as well. What is the point of suffering, she exclaimed. In her view, the doctors should speak up for the patients since euthanasia is illegal in Malaysia.

She said she's not afraid to die. "i can die anytime man" was what she said. What's good is life now anyways to be always on the operating table and lying in bed anyways. and she also said she's had enough of chemotherapy and radiotherapy. She was adamant to get out of the hospital and live on some holistic diet. Nevertheless, she's gungho about playing mahjong with mom again. haha

this is closely related to the movie "You Dont Know Jack" starring Al Pacino. Strikes a chord in my heart. The fine line between the choice of ending suffering or fighting a losing battle. Go watch it.

Complain

If there's any detox program that you should join, it's detox yourself from COMPLAINING. Think about it...it's TOXIC. It's something NEGATIVE. It's streneous just listening to it.. It's ANNOYING. It's DISRUPTIVE.

Unless you turn those complaints into action items. Unless you take the complain and take it to the source of the annoyance. Unless you ACT ON IT. Complaining to a friend at some mamak joint is not going to help.

If not, I suggest we STOP COMPLAINING.

Biar

I recently learnt this expression from a friends of mine. You use it when someone's irritating you and you tried as much to shoo him away, only to end up getting worked up for nothing. Biar. Eventually he'll get the hint. No point getting mad about it.

Or when someone's being kiasu and wants to know every single thing that you're doing at work (to stay competitive, or at least not behind me) and basically 'parrot' whatever you say or do. Eventually that person for sure could not put up the act that long.....

Or when you feel like you're exploited, and no matter how many times you've voiced it out, nobody gave a damn anyway. BIAR! you'll have the last laugh when you tender your resignation!

Hah! Biar!

Choose Your Battles

Not all battles are meant to be fought.
Not all battles are worth fighting for.
Some battles we can ignore. For some battles are not our battles.
Some battles are ours to fight. And us alone.
Those who do not fight, has not lived.
- sze lin

So You Think You Can Dance- Alex

Check this out...epic dance moves from Alex HipHop and Hallelujah.

A Quarter of A Century Friendship Anniversary!

I just realized that this year I would have known my primary school friends for 25 years! That means 25 years of friendship! 25 years of Laughter and Tears. Makes my heart go a-flutter just thinking about that. There are some I've known since in kindie when I was 5, but let's just say it was quite a blur period when you're 5 till about 7 years old. haha.

So here's a tribute to Eva, Tzewei, Larn, Shamila, Su Yeen, Ming Kuen. (including Imn i guess although I know her for 32 years hehe)...here's to a Quarter of A Century Friendship! And I'm so happy you guys will be there on my Big(gest) Day....

Bridezilla

Approximately 2and half months more before my wedding. I'm almost done with most details, and I'm glad I didnt turn bridezilla over it! A friend of mine said that we can choose to go cheap or go overboard with the wedding, and frankly, nobody appreciates it or remembers it. That's kinda sad. But nevertheless, I wanna remember it, and I'll appreciate it, and I would want to say my dear friends and family would too.

So I aim to not disappoint, but also not to go overboard. My 2nd dinner is a little subtle, free and easy, none of those frills, but it comes with definitely good food, and warmth of my closest friends...

We need to move on

I have been recently enlightened by Farish Noor in his recent book that touched on something that is like a thorn in our minds. Of how our nation has been segregated on purpose before merdeka, and how we are still doing it. so we typically stereotype the malays are lazy, the chinese are greedy and the indians are sleazy & drunkies. but in reality this is not entirely true. there are drunk chinese...and there are greedy malays and etc etc.

the point is that we are Malaysians. we went wrong in the first place when we allowed the british to brand us that way. To ensure that we are 'properly controlled' konon. and that we are all 'specialized' in our own ways, and how the brits have just made us more 'effective' by leveraging on our strengths...

so primitive, kan.

and yet, we have not broken away from that stereotype. how many of us are guilty of making racist remarks or even a casual commentary about other races and stereotyping typical behaviour based on race.

and today, I am again reminded by our ex-PM, read: chedet-racist .

the truth is that not all of us think that way. or maybe that's what I hope we are. it's time to take a step forward to a new Malaysia. one that sees a man as a man, and not if he's brown, yellow, or black.

peace.

Statistics...

Take it easy no matter what you're doing. Do what you can and do it while you still can. Afterall, we end up as part of the statistics anyways :). (quote: SK) have a great weekend.

My 1st Week

I told myself I'll never leave my ex-company...unless this current one offers me a job! and IT DID! Although I do agree that things would have been different if I actually got the job much earlier. My ex-company was an eye-opener to many fantastic work experiences that I would take away with me. always.

I guess hard work does pay off. And hell it's been a tough road for me. From automotive, to telco to recruitment/outsourcing and now to oil & gas. It hasn't been easy and my learning curve has always been quite unimaginable. I've also given up a managerial position twice. And with no regrets. If i'm paid more everytime to learn something new, it's ok to give up a comfort zone in a managerial role. That's my opinion anyways. it's good to never stop learning....

I really do hope I'll make the cut here though.

What Your Teacher Didnt' Tell You

redefining and clarifying the Malaysian's history ........

I'm gonna be missing Breakfast time

there won't ever be another pest who would always pester me for breakfast..

one who made me addicted to pakcik's nescafe c ice...

i'll miss the endless chatter,

the monday catchup time....

as we while away an hour or so, before work hits us at 8.30am.

sigh. my timeout sessions shall be missed.

Exploited!

The more I work and the more I see, I can't help but feel exploited at times. You know, I'm the type who doesnt say NO, same as few friends of mine, O and Jo. We both got this problem and tend to be the natural fall guys whenever there's 'extra' work to be done. I dont mind the work really. But it becomes a problem when people take advantage of your weakness and pile you up with work.

The solution is easy. Either you suck it in and do the work, then plan to leave. Or just say NO and risk being labelled as 'NOT A TEAM PLAYER'. I always opt for the first solution, and always tell myself, I'll do it and embrace the work and learn, but I'll have the last laugh when I leave.

Sadly, this may form a pattern in my next few years of employment. I really need to do something about this, else I'll risk leaving every employment just because I can't say NO. OR.....I could just be self-employed!