....And the Hardest Part

I'm leaving again, for a new job. I hate to leave when the tough gets going, but it was an offer I could not refuse and it was the right thing to do. This time around, is the hardest to say goodbye to. Not only was my boss a great mentor, but the journey thus far has been a most memorable and challenging of all. Not only have I triumphed over the toughest clients and outsourcing units, but I've also proved that I can do it! Alas, it was just not my calling. I have come to a point where I realized that I can do just about anything so long as I put my mind and soul to it.

And that I have. Along with some of the best team mates ever, from one project to another, I've really pushed myself and realized my limits. It's just that, I'm not ready to take up a leadership role. I know I should be happy to be promoted after barely 2 years, but I'm happier as a team player. How unambitious, I know!, but that's just who I am. I enjoy the adrenaline rush in winning and execution of projects, no matter how hard it is. I dont enjoy taking the blame, or putting the blame on someone, or worrying about resources and business forecast. It's just not my thing.

And with this, I bid farewell to a promotion, to a wonderful journey, to one of the best employment thus far, to my wonderful and fantabulous team members, Aa.C,His.O,Fx.T, Y, T.Jan, J.Ash, W.Pin, Monz, L.Kuo, M.J, Gd, O.T, N.Th, J.Ch. You guys are the best!

Material Girl 2

It baffles me how some people put so much emphasis on their possessions, but I think it's inevitable these days because of commercials and to some extent peer pressure. All the MUST-Haves that is seasonal. All the gadgets that they need to have. All the clothes/accessories they just gotta have. And the latest phone (it's like everyone has to get an iPhone).

Now we can choose to ignore it, and go by our own ways... Or we can succumb to the lure of the MUST-HAVES. Either way, I think it's just fine...as long as you're not getting yourself into a debt unnecessarily. If you can afford it, why not.

I guess I was never one to envy or to have such wants. Maybe it's the McScrooge in me, or the practical me. I feel like I should succumb, to conform to what's considered a norm these days. Seriously people think I'm odd that I dont change my phone, but I have the luxury to chuck it wherever coz it's so old that no one would steal it anyways. M was using her nokia butterfly phone(with the blue screen) for ages, and had it not been an accident that broke it, I think M would have continued to use it till now. I just dont see the logic in spending so much on something, then worrying later if you'd get robbed.

What is in your must-have list?

The Bargaining Chip

I had an interesting conversation about how one should plan their career. Find your bargaining chip. It will be the deciding factor for your boss whether to keep you or let you sail.

More often than not, your bargaining chip would be EDUCATION which determines your qualification. With that you can GO anywhere. It's always good to be in pursuit of higher academics whenever you can, be it in language or a professional certification to further enhance your profession.

Although a good experience under your belt would be good, make sure that the experience is relavant enough to be your bargaining chip. Try not to be jack of all trades.

Find your bargaining chip.

Imnes Got Hitched!

If you don't already know it, imn got hitched on the 30th April 2010. It was too bad neither of us back hom could attend the registration in UK but we're happy for imn + jason nevertheless. We will have to make it there next year for the first church wedding in the family!

aaron and kyra would be much much older and 'controllable" (i hope).

thx to Eva and Atami for representing us....but, erm, when are we gonna see the pics? Larn? Imn?

Eva

My mom was just telling me how I've known Eva for donkey years...since I was a 5-year-tot. You cannot imagine how much we've shared and been through together despite parting our ways after Form 5. I have to tell you that despite the years, she's still the same! Domineering and our Miss Datin still.

It's always amazing to be reunited with old friends and we really do connect in different levels and ways that no other can understand. And we dont have to explain in great lengths to one another (which saves a lot of time!!). Our dinner and coffee-of-the-day was just like good old times. Except that this time round, Tzewei was back and it was double the fun. oh, and also Ming's little addition in our group of ladies!

so since I know....you'll be reading this, Eva, get home safe and be a great Witness to Imn getting HITCHED and make sure you get your ass back for my BIG Day in DEC!

love from all of us here :)

When It's All About The Money....

It's always the freshies who ask me how much is the job paying.... It's always the freshies asking what benefits the company can offer, even at the 1st interview. Either they have not learned how to be tactful when it comes to when is appropriate to ask these questions ; or they just want the blatant truth, what are they worth.

And that's the irony. They aren't worth anything until they've proved themselves. And to have the audacity to 'bargain'. What is your bargaining chip? Being young and having a degree means nothing if you dont have any experience. As far as employers are concerned, your cv is a blank cv. The only thing that can entice someone to hire a freshie, it still boils down to attitude. That's what wins an interview, I think. People love to see a young, energetic, HUMBLE, willing to learn gungho attitude from freshies. Being arrogant and flashing degrees from reknown universities really doesnt help at all.

Iskandar.....

White Elephant?
Why Iskandar when you have Cyberjaya?
Hello KItty???? omg....

Between love and madness, lies xenophobia

Between love and madness, lies xenophobia....

Will You Be My Bridesmaid?

Well, and so I thought I'll be really creative (and not lazy!) and instead of just asking someone to be my bridesmaid, I'll make a blog for my bridesmaids. Just so they know how special they mean to me, no joke!

It will be a portal for them especially those overseas, to plan for their travel itinerary, and also for me to upload maps and info for them. And there are also some 'male' bridesmaids...well whoever said they have to be female anyways :)

Also a good portal for them to plan the 'games' for andrew...

But it's still early. But, it's always good to be prepared.

Here's a poem I extracted from some card and modified....

As friends, we have travelled many roads together

.....through difficult times, and happy times,

Laughed and cried together,

Would you take one more step with me...

Would you be my Bridesmaid?

Macau

It was a surprisingly good trip. We scaled the hills and lonely roads in Macau and had a greatttttt time. From St. Paul's ruins to Cotai Strip to St Francis Xavier church in Coloane, it was all a great experience and we had a lot of good photographs.

The only bad experience was us getting on the cab to our hotel. I told the taxi driver in Cantonese to take us to Ole London Hotel. He screwed us and said he doesnt know where that is, and I gave him the address in printed in English, and kena screw lagi. Finally, on my last bid, I pronounced London in a chinese-y way, and THEN he knew where it was! GOsh!!!!!!!!!!

The only thing that really irks me are the Chinese nationals who were on the flight back to KL with us. I had to sit next to a chinese lady, and it was ok until I saw her wearing those disposable gloves. My mind was running wild thinking what the hell is she trying to do. Then she proceeded to take a plastic bag out from her bag, and starting eating ROAST PORK.... with the hand in glove! and spitting bones out to the vomit bag in the other hand. Well prepared I must say, except that she left a big patch of oil (porky) on the tray...... Let's not even talk about her digging her nose profusely before her 'meal'.

CNY 2010

it was a quiet CNY this year... I was the only sibling back for the new year eve dinner this time round. But I really enjoyed bumming in Ipoh...there's just something about Ipoh that I can't quite pinpoint. Maybe K is right about Ipoh being the best city in the world.

I spent a few days reading Zen and Taoism comic books. It's like a weird ritual whereby I always read them before CNY.....THe same books year after year. Something calming about that (or maybe it's just cause there's no ASTRO in Ipoh..hehe). I keep discovering new things..and there's something that I took away with me this time....that we should never succumb to materialism. we should not get attached to material things. It's silly but there are many amongst us who are slaves to branded stuff.

Another thing I learnt from my mom this CNY is GREED. Greed is I think is what breaks a family. I learnt from my mom that it's ok to be generous to a greedy person. One may think that he/she has gotten the best out of you, but God knows and God sees.

happy CNY and have a prosperous year ahead.

CNY bowling

Had a good time today with the kids from Agathians.. I must say I have not done any bowling since forever! Almost forgot how good it feels. I still suck at it, but enjoy it nevertheless. It was a bit chaotic though... Had a chance to see their quarters today, it's a bit congested and messy. Feels good to do something different for this CNY. The experience only makes me appreciate my life more. Peace.

The Boat That Rocked

I'm surprised how much I've enjoyed this. Haha. I think all these movies (ever since Zombieland) have hit my funny bone. This is a movie about Pirate Radio...and if you love music, especially the 60s...you'll like this movie. It's about a pirate radio station on a boat, about recklessness, rock 'n' roll, the 60s, about deejays and love for music. I like the end when they rolled an array of album covers. Nice. Reminded me of that book on music albums Imn bought for me. Watch it for the music!

Zombieland

Seriously just for fun!!!! loads of laughter and a feel-good movie. enjoy.

More than Just A Picture Perfect Moment....

We just met our photographers for our wedding. A family friend, which is a big plus because I'll know he'll capture a lot of special moments, better than any other photographer. We had an informal meetup with him and the partner and it was comfortable. I think it's important to be comfortable with your photographer, no? He/She has to be able to put you at ease, so you'll be camera-friendly. They both had good synergy (well, they are a couple too!), and I trust that they'll bring the best out of our wedding. We saw some samples and Andrew loves it. It's important that he does since he loves photography...... We love it that it's contemporary, and NOT DULL. None of those photoshop shit, and bling blings, stars, clouds & whatnots...

He also gave us a lot of ideas..things we have not even thought about. Like color theme....they recommended some colors that would make great photography, coz hey, they want their pictures to turn out great too! Also gave us a sense of what to prepare and how to get organized. Wow, I dont think other photographers would talk in length about things other than the service fee etc etc. Thanks Petertan&Evelyn . In you, we trust.

The Ideal Wedding

Someone told me yesterday that her wedding was from 10am to 3pm, no jip san leong, no wedding dinner, no alcohol, NO FRILLS. She didnt even had her bridal shoot, even though her husband was a professional photographer! Hah! I'm full of envy.

Truth is I wanted a no-hassle wedding. A simple ceremony. I'm not a flashy person nor an exhibitionist. Close friends would know that I hate attention and would rather be invisible most of the time. P use to tease me that I would walk in and out of the office as if I was invisible and kept a really low profile. No bridal shoot either because it just feels too artificial to me. Especially those that are extensively edited, with stars and dreamy sticker-like backdrop.

But I guess like all things in life, you can't have everything your way. I'm hoping to do the conventional chinese wedding dinner over and done with on the 1st day. The whole works. And then settle in for a fantabulous one on the 2nd night.

Jimui

It's the season for weddings... Every woman is either the bride or the jimui or the guest. Well you know how brides can get. They want the perfect wedding because it's a once in a lifetime kinda thing. Sweet. And so, a friend of mine appointed me and A as part of the jimuis entourage.

So she gave A the heads up about the dress- pink and satin. And it's free coz my friend is a clothing merchandiser and could get it done dirt cheap in China. Just the notion of pink and satin is enough to make A gag. Childish, it seems. And so my friend brought samples and even the colour board for us to choose. So i told her, seriously, I dont care, the bride chooses and I'll wear whatever color the bride wants! After all, isnt' that what being a jimui is all about?

I told A that we're just gonna be freaking wearing it for a couple of hours. Just do it. Do it for a friend. But still, A refused. She'll rather not be the jimui. People dont realize planning your own wedding can be really stressful, and it's disheartening to see my friend on the verge of crying, trying all her best to accomodate to ALL the jimuis.

someone ought to write the dos and donts of being a jimui.

Alienation....

You ever been caught in a situation where everyone speaks the same language except you? A room full of Mandarin-speaking people? Few years back, that was how it was day in day out at work.... almost till I've developed a selective hearing, as H puts it. Yeah, I've mastered the art of ignoring everyone and just go about my business without a care of what anyone is saying. I've learned to alienate myself because I am being alienated in the first place!

I was overjoyed when I didnt have to go through that anymore at the new workplace....that is until I was sent based at a client's place, where the people are mostly Chinese. Nothing wrong with that, except that there are also Indians in the same dept, and everyone just choose to speak Cantonese. I spoke to M yesterday about it. She and another colleague, G, both Indians are based at the client's place same as me. People around us who are Chinese like to speak Mandarin/Cantonese, I think that's fine, but you don't switch from English to Mandarin/Cantonese all of a sudden in the midst of a discussion with others, as if having another private discussion. As if you're alienating the Indians on purpose. As if they are not worthy of your respect.

Many would think that the rest of the minority group would just have to ACCEPT that these kind of situation happens because it's NORMAL as the majority group can't help it but to gradually converse in their mother tongue. I mean, what bullshit! I'm sure they know how to write RESPECT and MANNERS in Mandarin. Some senior manager actually said to me " aiya, you don't know Mandarin??? Work with me, must know Mandarin, if not very hard lah" How horrendous. I've proved otherwise that I can still do my job without conversing in Mandarin.

I thought we would have grown out of this. Years after our independence, we seemed to behave as if we are even more unrefined than before.

Invictus

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

A beautiful film by Clint Eastwood, with Morgan Freeman as Nelson Mandela (good cast!). The movie had me in tears, for some odd reason, seeing one visionary man who used sports (rugby) to unite his people and bring an end to apertheid, made me secretly wish that the same could happen in my own country. In the movie, Mandela taught us that we should not hold on to petty revenge, but to forgive... Truly inspiring. Malaysia in its own ways, has achieved some level of democracy and unity...and I hope one day I could watch a movie depicting our struggle too.

2010

2009 ended with much excitement. And there's been a lot of changes. For one, I'm now Mrs Yeong, technically; customary wise, I stilll need to go through the Ko Tai Lai, before it's official.

2. At work, I've embarked on something totally new, and I'm embracing the change. Some people are resistant to change, but I love change, at work at least. It keeps me excited at work and breaks the monotony.

3. 2009 was the year of me adapting to staying alone and with andrew thereafter. It's nice to play house with someone, that's something WY said to me.

4. No big purchases. Except for the trip to Melbourne. Was worth it, as it was a long overdue family trip. oh plus Andrew :) . And minus Imn.

Resolutions. I dont really have any. Maybe just embrace 2010 and make the best out of it. Find new places to explore and live, and let live, everyone!