Joining the Club

I've officially stepped into the 'Married' club this morning. Attendees: 17 adults and 2 kids. Venue: Putrajaya. Time: 9.30ish. It was done in almost 5 minutes I would say. And then maybe another 5 mins for a photo session. Drinks: canteen at Putrajaya JPN. Lunch: Putrajaya Seafood Restaurant. We had a private room , 2 tables and at RM750.....think it was alright.

I guess if I had to write a review on our lives together to date it would look like this:

• that fateful day at the mamak till 2am
• the Great Fall...and everything else that came with that....
• our days apart when I was in Indonesia
• the journey working towards and during the Europe trip
• living together and playing house...
• in preparation towards our marriage...

Status check: Still feels the same, we have been living together for a while now, so have no clue what's in store next, but we've always been the 'take it as it comes' couple so everything will be just fine....

DIY Bouquet

I decided a while back that I was going to DIY the bouquet, since for the ROM, I'm probably using it for less than 30mins....so, no reason to spend a bomb on it. I surveyed the florist etc and the minimum I had to spend would be RM120....for a almost decent one. So.....I was on a mission, make my OWN BOUQUET!

And so, I was contemplating on whether to get real or artificial flowers. The advantage of fakes would be that it's REUSABLE. boleh recycle, or pass on to my niece when she's the flower girl. Oklah, i thought, let it be FAKES.

I was at British Homes while waiting for Azlan to meet me for tanni, so I chanced upon some pretty good fakes, better than those in Ikea, and Floristika, so heck I bought 3 bunch for RM15.

Below is the first attempt....


At first glance when I was done with the ribbons last nite, I thought, oklah, boleh pass. but those red pins were really bothering me coz it looked like the bouquet was diseased, or full of acne. I knew those pins had to be replaced. So we went pin hunting today. Finally found some at a cheesy bookstore in Kota Damansara.....and...voila! All done under RM40. :)

Now I'm officially DONE.

credit: endroog for taking part in choosing the ribbons... (paying for it as well, hehe,) and for his brilliant idea to try pin-hunting at the cheesy bookstore. Could not have done it without u, haha.

The Prisoner

6 episods. 2 days. Endless unanswered questions. Half the time I'm asking myself , wtf is going on? Someone please enlighten me. Please go watch The Prisoner starring Jim Caviezel (from Passion of Christ) and Ian McKellan (LOTR). I can't decide if the plot was bad, or the editing was bad, or is it just trying too hard to be different?

With A Girl Like You

I want to spend my life with a girl like you, ba ba ba ba bam,

And do all the things that you want me to, ba ba ba bam,

Till that time has come, that we might live as one,

Can I dance with you, ba ba ba bam.- The Troggs

How's this for a walk-in song?

The One

My ROM date is fast approaching, this month to be exact. I had a question asked by a friend over a couple of beers the other day. She was really serious, and (in fact she asked me twice) she asked me if I was ABSOLUTELY SURE that I am READY and if I truly believe that he's the ONE for me.

I really don't think there's an answer for this. How can anyone know for sure. "You just know it when you're ready-lah." was my answer. "Are you ready to take on the next phase in your life?"... "I'll take it as it comes. As long as I know we're gonna take it on side by side." was my answer...

"So is he THE ONE?" ...... I guess I'll never know, but I know this, there's no one else I'll rather grow old with.

Principle Dilemma

I do believe it really takes a lot to change me. Well, duh, it took years to 'form' me! I am what I am and there are just some things that I just won't and can't change. Like my habits, my preference and my stand on certain things. Change in my job, or change in my marital status, or my age will not change this.

Have you ever been caught in a situation when some people want you to conform to what they think is the perfect or rightful daughter, son, daughter-in-law, son-in-law, employee, employer, mother, father etc. Have you ever had to speak or behave differently because others do not approve?

But it's true, over time, we need to 'change'. We cannot be self-centered and only do what we want. We'll have to compromise. But never compromise your principles. So hard to decide whether your principles are right or wrong though.

Like for instance, going home for the CNY eve. Say you're married, and traditionally, the wife should spend CNY eve at the husband's side. Over the years, people have compromised and now the husbands are ok to go back during alternate years. Is this wrong? My dad has no sons....and if all of us are not allowed to come back during CNY eve, who's gonna spend CNY eve with my parents? Although they are fine with it....reason being that we could always come back on the 1st day or 2nd day, but i guess it's not fine with me. I cannot imagine them being alone during CNY eve, and I guess I would not be enjoying CNY eve either.

My working environment is as such that everything is client-orientated. We need to do our best to make the client look good. My livelihood and sustainability relies on how they rate us. They are crude and chinaman-like and do not hesitate to tell you what they feel about the Indian subordinates and colleagues. Few times I had to bite my tongue, but my conscience tells me I should say something. And I did, but indirectly. It eats on me as I know they deserve better credit. At least they were more tactful and articulate when dealing with a problem, and not jump into unjust complaints laced with racism. When I share this, everyone says "learn to ignore". And I guess that helps.

Over the years, yes, I've had to deal with my own principles, modifying it and adjusting it when necessary. It's so hard to hold on to your cards sometimes. Sometimes we just need to let it go.

Merry Merry Xmas Everyone

Got our tree up. Ho Ho Ho...have a merry one :)

On a New Ship

"You've been reassigned." Of course, that was never how it was said. So much was said but I guess that's what it means. I've been offered a new opportunity to do a different program within the consulting group which I gladly accept. Bored and getting complacent, me and I guess my boss knew I need a change. A challenge. Another beginning.

I was only given a week to say my goodbyes and do my handover. Great. I like a fast departure. It would make leaving my new found friends easier and the transition to a new place fret-free.

I guess what makes it hard to leave would be the great team I am in. I would miss the early morning emails from my Australian actress-turned-consultant colleague, the continuous queries from my jap counterpart and constant gossiping with my singaporean and KL (now in penang) counterpart, and the lame ejek from the korean fella. Would I ever find a better team than this.

Aihhh, it's not like me to get nostalgic, but being alone in a floor-ful of non-colleagues make us appreciate one another. However, I'm excited and cannot wait to get on the new ship and sail! and DIVERSIFY!

Grudge

I've just got news of an estranged family friend who collapsed over the week with a mild stroke. He and his girlfriend used to spend all festivities and even Chinese New Year with us in Ipoh. That was until a misunderstanding about 2 years ago. Things were never the same and we kept our distance.

He had a mild stroke and was in the ICU. As soon as I heard, I called up mom and asked if she'd want see her godson. So we trotted off to Pantai hospital on Sunday afternoon. I could tell Mom was nervous but I kept her mind busy with endless chatter. As soon as we got to his ward, it was most emotional as my mom saw his girlfriend (also mom's goddaughter) and they started hugging each other trying to hold their tears back. Even I could not control my tears as the sight of him was unbearable. He was not his usual mighty and confident self, confined to the hospital bed. He was slurring and trying his best to explain himself. He threw in a laugh here and there, and tried his level best to stay alert.

We shared a light moment with his parents just chatting and sharing stories and jokes. We've never met them before, and they've never met their son's 'other family' that he spends CNY with.

I guess one could and should not hold a grudge to one's deathbed. Afterall, any religion would tell you to forgive and forget. I believe he did what he did out of desperation and if we were indeed 'family', then let's take it that it was a dreadful mistake and that he's paid his dues with sufferings. I think that's enough punishment. What you think?

Melbourne..and the rest of Victoria

It was a good holiday, with scrumptious food, cool weather and plentiful fun and sunny days. And it was a great family trip including Andrew's initiation into the Toh family. All was missing was just Imny and JE.....

Melbourne city was not very impressive, but then, perhaps it just goes to show that Australia is not all about skyscrapers and malls. We stayed in Prahran the first night. Then headed on to our farm stay at Lavender Farm in Healesville, Yarra Valley. 2 nights there. On our mission to the Great Ocean Road, we stayed at Torquay for 2 nights. And then the last night was back at Melbourne in Swanston Street.

The farm stay was magnificent. Reminded me of New Brunswick with the warm fireplace, friendly dogs, lemon trees and lavender everywhere. Breakfast was our loot from Coles, lunch and dinner at Healesville town. We went to GiantStepsInnocentBystander, which was a winery that carries Innocent Bystander and Giant Steps wine. Fine food and great cosy place.

We did made our way to Healesville Sanctuary so that the pesky kids can see koalas and kangaroos. Also to the Dandenongs that was most impressive.....but that was till we got to the Great Ocean Road...

Torquay was the next destination, tourist-y seaside haven, sis found a great bungalow to stay and i half-believed Andrew when he said that it looks like the place from those mags we see. But migosh, it was modern, fuss-free, patio, spacious 4-bedrooms....place to die for. It got my brother-in-laws to check out the classified, and found out most of those properties were only AUD300K. In Singapore, I dont think u can get a landed property for SGD1mil. Hey, and this place is near near near the beach! We live in a rat's world compared to the Aussies....

Anyways, the following day we headed off on our mission to see the 12 Apostles. Made stops at Lorne and Apollo Bay. And that was as far as we've got coz of pesky nephew, the winding road, and I guess not all of us wants to see more rocks formation. haha. Ohwell, next time maybe.

The last night at Melbourne was well spent. We met up with our cousins who have migrated there years ago. Yee, Bee, and Nee. I'm sure it made my mom very happy as it was her late eldest brother's enstranged family members. We went to Victoria Market (felt like we were at some chinatown fest, Chatuchak beats it flatfaced) together. The morning after, we met up with Shaun(cousin in NZ) and Tze Yin. Had a great great breakfast by the Yarra River....

My take on Melbourne..and the rest of Victoria: Canada-like with a great laidback feel and certainly worth two trips or more. And I'm glad it has none of the city-like experience that I'll rather give a miss.

Convert

Religion can be the boon or the bane of one's life. You choose.

It's only recently that the question of converting has been playing on my mind, as another friend spoke of a similar situation just as she was about to get married. Not that I have anything against Catholics. If anyone must know, I was brought up going to Sunday schools and Catechism classes up till I was 12. Even in university, I went to the Church once in a while. I also went to the temple. Thanks to my parents wisdom I had exposure to both religion, and coming of age, especially now that I'm already in my 30s, I know where my path is, religion wise. Why should anyone doubt my religion when I don't? Who would know what's better for me, if not I? And my choice was never lead or encouraged by anyone. I followed where my heart belonged.

Many people would tell you that in order for the family to achieve full happiness, it is best for the whole family to be of same religion. I ask you, show me the proof. Show me the proof and I will shut my gab forever. But no proof could be produced because this is subjective and every human differ in their behaviour and likes. I've seen many families ruined not by religion, but by lust and greed. How's that for a more common cause of destruction of a family?

I shared with my friend, a Hindu who's also being asked to convert. She is also asked to ensure that her kids would follow the Catholic path and go to church etc etc. She does not want to be a hyprocrite by saying yes to something that's in the future, and for her non-existent kids. I feel the same way. I would want to sample the wisdom of my parents who would provide an environment where my child would have the freedom of choice, and not baptised at birth or forced to a religion that he/she is still too young to understand. There must be a sense of ownership in a religion in order to embrace it. Or else, you are just accepting FATE and not faith.

Here I'm not saying any religion is bad. Buddhism has taught me not to condemn any religion but to respect others. Some of the things I've mentioned are perhaps the result of mis-interpretation of the Bible that has led people to instill the wrong teachings.

All I ask is that if I respect another's religion, I expect the same mutual respect for mine.

Leonardo Da Vinci

I heard about the exhibition from DAN which is starting Oct1st onwards... I was in Florence and the guide was raving about Leonardo Da Vinci. An inventor, painter, artist, engineer (as far as I know), and I just wiki-ed him and found out he's also a musician???? Really???? One of course could not dismiss the famous Mona Lisa and The Last Supper. I went to the Louvre to catch a glimpse of the Mona Lisa...and seriously could not get what the hype was all about...but.... I guess I'm not artistic enough to appreciate it.

I first heard of Leonardo Da Vinci, if i'm not mistaken in one of our history lessons....and then memory revisited with the Ninja Turtles: Leonardo, Raphael, Michaelangelo and Donatello. HAHA.

And so, there's gonna be an exhibition in Pusat Sains Negara....so Dan, give me the tickets ok!

Perseverance

I've had it easier than andrew......Everytime when I feel like life or work is tough, I look at Andrew, and he makes me think 'what the hell have you got to complain about?" haha, in a nice way i mean. I grew up with having to worry in the most part of my life, just of myself. I take care of myself, well quite burden-free and worry-free. Looking at andrew I always wonder how the hell he did it. Studies, work, family....unlike me, he has many commitments. And lots of errands to run for himself and his family. I only 'run' for myself.

In a way, i see andrew as a inspiration to go on. When life gets tough, I just need to look at him and think well his life is tougher and yet he takes it with a sleepy smile...(due to exhaustion, he's perpetually lacking of sleep all the time HAHA). His perseverance and patience is commendable. Something I probably don't have. Doing things for others tend to instill selflessness in him. Something probably I would need to learn as well.

And so opportunity does present itself in a strange way. I recently was asked by a friend to volunteer to take some kids out for makan makan. I didnt think I would go. Then i saw this video about kids in Uganda who were starving and suffering from malnutrition. Got me crying like hell. GOsh! Straight away I replied my friend to COUNT ME IN. It made me realize that yeah, I always knew that there are neglected orphans and poor children, but I never really did anything about it. I just know it, ignore it, and move on.

I was talking to that friend just minutes ago, and she's been taking those kids out a couple of times.... She herself lost her mother when she was in her teens and I guess she knew how it felt like having no one to talk to, to share stories with,....She told me once how envious she is of me that I can go home once a week and catchup with my mom. It was a yearning that I guess I could not understand, perhaps not yet.

Siapa Jaga?

I had an interesting conversation with a friend, a mother of 3 boys. In her mid 40s already, she was telling me that she'll probably work until she could no longer work anymore. The reason was that she did not want to burden her 3 sons. She said people may think that she should not have to worry about her livelihood because either one of the 3 sons will take care of her. But, to her, it should not be an obligation, and she does not want either of her 3 sons to feel burdened. She'll rather her sons be financially sound and able to build their own families.

Others may feel otherwise. "You are the son and you have to start paying 'maintenance fee' once you start working." "It's my right as the father/mother since I brought you to this world, and fed/bathe you since you were born."

It's quite different when you demand for something, rather than the child give to you without you asking for it.

Yes, as the child, we are all responsible to take care of our parents. But dont see it as a responsibility or an obligation. Dont you want to take care of your parents when they are old? Do you have the heart to shun them? If you see it as an honour, to be able to give back, to provide and to love, it's quite different, eh?

My friend today told me her grandmother has no where to go. Nobody wants to take care of her. 9 sons and 4 daughters. Sad isn't it.

What are We?

Someone said to me " you know, what are We (the Malaysians) if not for the British?" Is it just me, or is there something seriously wrong with this statement.

Are we supposed to be appreciative of the British colonization?

What are your thoughts? I want to know.

The Simpleton

Everyone claims they are simple (or plain...such a fine line!) people, but what defines being simple. True, not everyone is into the high-life, the constant partying or the drama- bananarama life.

1) Do you lead your life looking for drama? Making something out of nothing at all? Do you find yourself exaggerating every single thing that happens in your life?

2) Do you find a simple quiet day doing nothing unbearable?

3) Do you find yourself getting excited over a new gadget/phone/clothes? A wise man (who is also rich) once reminded us never ever to get attached to any material. Things wither or decay. Memories and love don't.

While some find it hard to be simple, others embrace simplicity. I know of people who find joy in a simple sandwich. A walk in the park. A picnic. Dinner with close friends. A packet of Milo. :)

Contented, not complacent.

Solitary

Why do people choose to lead a solitary life? Is it because people just give up on trying to make people understand them, or trying to live among those people that do not approve your way of life, or is it because people just tend to be individualistic who'd rather be alone then try to conform.....

I know a couple of people at work...who prefer to eat alone....Even I used to embrace that. Having my lunch alone. Just like them, it's not easy to find a compatible lunch partner, and at the end of it all, you REALLY just wanna get your food, and sometimes eating alone works just better for yourself. Of course, it might seem really odd to be eating alone in the canteen...but do you really mind? If your intention is just to get FOOD, should you even mind at all? Seriously, why do you care that people care?

How about shopping alone? Is it odd that sometimes I tell my bf to NOT to go shopping with me... I think many people shop alone. Trust me it should not be a couple's activity at all! Shopping for the house, yes. Shopping for clothes, NO. Who here has never shopped alone before????

Drinking alone. Ok, now this is kinda sad. hahaha. Drinking in a group is just way way more fun. Yes, once in a while I fix myself a little drink, put a dash of vodka in my orange juice, or sneak a drop of kahlua on my ice-cream, or a glass of wine in a cold night...... (omg, i do drink alone!), but seriously,it's way better to drink in a group. Who would I talkcockbullshit with when I'm high if I was all alone? However, drinking kakis must NOt be unruly.

Going to the public toilet alone...haha. Just thought I'll add this in coz I find it really odd So that women tend to ajak each other go to the public toilet together. But, I guess for safety reason so that we're on the watchout for each other (too much horror stories about girls kena rape in the toilet- fake CLEANING IN PROGRESS signboard!). This one is OK, something I think i'll make it a habit to 'ajak'...... Although when u really got to go, where got the time to think about ajak other people! hehe... So next time if i forget to ajak, pls ikut aje me.....

What do you do on your own???

Gen Y

or the Millenials...generally born in the 80s.. I am part of the Gen X. What I do gives me the opportunity to deal with Gen X and Gen Y people.... and here are my thoughts.

1) Gen Y tends to have higher expectations at work, dont matter that they are not nearly as qualified....they may even be more careful in their choice of career, even though they could not be fully-equipped to make such decision. As compared to Gen X, they are more with the "I'll take whatever I can get" attitude, perhaps because they've had a taste of the Asian crisis in '97, brings them a few levels down to earth!

2) While Gen Y are now smarter in a sense that they do pack up their repertoire with not only a degree, but masters/phds supplemented by professional certificates. Although bear in mind the standard of education has dropped drastically. Observe a bunch of Gen X speaking vivaciously in decent audible English....a bunch of Gen Y may speak with too many abbreviations. or not speak at all. I blame it on dependence to msn, fb, yahoo messenger, etc etc. I actually met someone who is anti-facebook, Gen-X-er, her reasoning being that if a friend is a friend at all, we should only just be a phonecall away.... however, I guess FB is somewhat a cheaper way to stay connected....hehe

3) Types of interest seems to fair differently for Gen X and Gen Y. Not to generalize but while in my generation we did not have the luxury of computers and www.... we indulge on outdoorsy stuff. For e.g, while girl guides/scouts were considered cool in the 90s....it's not considered lame by some Gen Y-ers! hhahahhaa.

What are your thoughts....

Narcissism

I'm getting tired...from deleting people from my facebook. Why you may ask...it's because people can't stop showing off in the facebook. Or announcing their whereabouts and what they are buying. First...do I really care? Second....what's the purpose of telling me anyhoo?

Talk about being self-absorbed. "Exhibit A" makes it a point to upload the facebook mobile and updates where she is, what's she eating, all throughout her europe tour.... So annoying because the news feed keeps 'feeding' me all this useless information!

"Exhibit B" actually makes her status as the countdown to her trip to london. OK, stating 21 days...then 14days, then 10 days, it's just tad tooo annoying.

"Exhibit C" likes to tell us about what her husband is and not doing with her. Like baking her something, or buying her something. Do we really want to know all this?

I think people ABUSE it. Some things are just not meant to be shared. If you can't be adult enough to differentiate what's to be shared and what's not, well, I gotta delete you.

Here's what I appreciate. People who flaunt their blog stuff. People who post their latest blog updates. At least it's INFORMATIVE, and saves me time from going into the url, coz I'm getting updates on the NEWS feed.

And updates when people need help on the MAFIA WARS. hahahahha, because I get points and money!

Another Phase...

I just got back from a short trip to Singapore. It was a weekend full of kids and babies! Delightful and annoying at the same time. ahhaha, maybe 70% delight....Attended SY's baby girl's full moon party. SY's my childhood friend. Man time really flies. Still have a vivid mental picture of SY in her blue pinafore and we're like playing tiang-tiang waiting for our ride.

And so, my friends have moved on to another phase. Ming's going to give birth soon in another 2 months. So nice to see her glowing face, even I am excited for her. I guess that's what friends do ya...we feel for them too. I remember when WY delivered and I was waiting anxiously at the maternity ward with her inlaws and parents. She wanted some support but really she was so brave. I seriously cannot imagine myself going through that.

And there are others who are moving on to getting a new place. The thing is, no one ever said that you need to get married or attached before you can buy your own place. I know a friend who thinks otherwise, only because she feels that men may be intimidated, and it might costs her a potential suitor. But, the guy's not worth a pursuit if he's that easily intimidated. But that's just my opinion. As what Tache says, sometimes spending (on essential stuff that is) can motivate the guy to work harder for money. What I mean is that spending can serve as a motivator. A catalyst.

I guess that's moving on to another phase. How people move from walkman to cd to mp3 player to ipod. Saying that it's good be thrifty is another thing, but to deny yourself the comfort of a/c (we so need it here!) is another thing. we should upgrade within our means.

Imn: consumption is the new religion. Are you one of those people who's constantly updating your status on facebook that you're buying this n that, or eating at some fancy restaurant today, or that you're hopping off to some country etc. It's annoying if you're just showing off because people who do appreciate good stuff doesnt need to flaunt it on fb to let others know. They just...appreciate it. People pay way too much emphasis on brands and their image, that they forget the really important things....like friendship and family. I dont think there's anything more important that that....do u? Time to move on from this phase.... it ain't cool, u fools!

White Tiger

Surprisingly refreshing. Could not do speed reading on this book, but every detail is refreshingly nice. A good read and gives you insight of India's socioeconomy and struggles. Would recommend this over the Twilight books....

MJ

Here's for Imn.....

My earliest memory of MJ was when I was about 6 i think. Me and imn, bored out of our minds in our place in jln yeoh chai lye, were always watching this videotape ( my sister's compilation) that had a few mtv videos in it. 1st one was Beat It and the 2nd one was Billie Jean. I remember thinking to myself what's with the blinking pathway in Billie Jean. Of course, it never occured to me how amazing his dance moves were until i was much older.

yes, we were duds who probably didnt really appreciate MJ at that time. But MJ never stopped to amaze us. He went on to further amaze us with other great hits.

I once had a part time job at a retail shop in 1 utama...boring shit, and it was a full time job. Days dragged on like it would never end. And then one day, i took my MJ cd and asked my asst manager, hey do you like MJ? Things went crazy after that as we bobbed our heads and snapped our fingers to The Way You Make Me Feel and Dont Stop Till You Get Enough. It was never the same again. Yes...he has that effect on us, in small little ways that no other has.

And now, 'you've got a place to go '. RIP.

Up Where We Belong

Some hang on to usued to be

Live there life looking behind

All we have is here and now

All our lives out there to find

The road is long and there are mountains in my way

But we climb the stairs everyday -Joe Cocker

There's a bunch of us who are based at the client's, and we only go back to the HQ once a month. I dont look forward to the traffic jam (as opposed to my 3-min ride to client's place), but I do look forward to seeing my comrades. Well, I hardly know them, but they're more family than the colleagues I have here. There may not be the people I go to about work, (since no one really knows what i'm doing), but they are the people I go to for some laughs. If not them, who else?

Well, the problem is really staying connected. So we skype, IM and occasionally we have those company outings. It seems simple but it's something that requires effort really.

1. Someone has to start the ball rolling. Someone has to initiate an outing, be it a simple drinking session or makan session.

2. Someone has to put aside his/her fear of not being accepted, and just go for the damn outing.

3. Someone has to make time.

4. Someone has to plan and connect to us, the on-site fellas.

Open your mind and you'll find where you belong.

The Maid

It was Father's Day, and so sis took us to this place Rebung in Bangsar for Malay food feast. Decided to treat them since everyone's back in KL (except for Imn). Anyways, it was a buffet, and mom assigned me to take the maid, Sophie, to get her food. Wasn't sure if it was her first buffet in Malaysia (or in her life, for that matter.)

She was excited. I've never seen anyone so excited over buffet, maybe because we Malaysians so have it all the time shamelessly. She asked me what each and every item was, cautious at first. There was one particular one that caught her eye. Ice Kacang! When the machine whirred, and ice was filling up the bowl, she jumped excitedly.

It's funny and heart-warming at the same time, to see that we've made someone's day by just a simple bowl of ice kacang. We take thing for granted too often sometimes. I know my family's a failure when it comes to disciplining the maid. Mom's teaching her English, and dad/sis buys her ice-cream, mom also gets her Coke (her favourite). Mom even reads to both her and my nephew sometimes. It doesnt help that she's small and somewhat naive and deprived, and my parents spoil her like she's their daughter. Just like one of the family.

Indian Drama

My colleague from India came here for his honeymoon. I've never met him before. We have always been in communication via conference calls and even skype. My boss once shared all our profiles so that we all have an idea how we all looked like since it looks as if we may never have a chance to group all at once in the same place.

And so, I met them up at KLCC. Monzoor and his wife. Gave him 2 hours to go round KLCC, before we took him to KL Tower. My first time there as well. Muahahha. Then we headed off to the Curve for more shopping.

The day went fine, except that I suspected a tinge of awkwardness between the two. Monzoor kept asking if the wife's alright , if she's afraid of heights, if she wants to do this or that. It's like going all the way out to ENSURE she's happy. They even had a tiff inside a store, and just so happen me and andrew were sitting right across watching the whole drama, as the wife ran off and sat at the bench, facing the opposite direction.

The next day, the friend whom they were staying with asked how it all went. So I told her that they seems kinda awkward, even had a big Bangalore vs Chennai debate. She's from Bangalore and he's from Chennai. And then the friend said it's an arranged marriage...'give chance lah'....

Gosh, things became much clearer after that :)

Twilight..New Moon..Eclipse..Breaking Dawn

Are you a Twilight fan? I caught the bug after I saw the Twilight DVD. Read all the 3 books thanks to my sis, Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse... An easy read and fascinating only because it is so different and interesting. Vampires and werewolves. What's not to like? Unless you're not into fantasy shit then this will completely baffle you. I just like how Stephanie Meyers spun a tale that's like a horror-romance in a weird sort of way. Definitely different and I'm still waiting to get the last one. Breaking Dawn. When Bella finally joins the gang! You'll know what I mean.

An Upset

Had a major upset at work. I've screwed up big time and been having sleepless nights. I put the blame on myself. I'm usually so careful and am even more so with this new job. And yet, i still (*&*(-ed up. My boss tried to pacify me and said 'shit happens'. Very nice of him, but I can't seem to get over it. In a sudden turn of fate, I'm actually feeling more responsible and accountable for this job, and starting to care, and the job matters to me. Sigh. Perhaps it's a sign of turning 30something, or it could be I just need to relax and eff it, it's just a freaking job.

Easier said than done though. Like Wei said, we have to take pride in our work. And i do, but if shit happens, I would see this as a failure...a major screwup. What can I do but hope for the best and vow to do better. Sigh.

Stick it On

Another frivolous buy- i was checking on the prices for registration for the Curve flea market..and found this. A korean lady had a booth selling these wall decos. A nice African guy was looking at this same piece, and it was the last one! He let me have it....! And so I went home and voila! RM69...... But kinda made the room cheery and garden-y. It's just that there are a lot of 'adjustments' because it's not as easy at it looks, some of the leaves dont match and the quantity is not really as what the sketch says, and you just go for your instincts! Go TRY this.

Rachel Getting Married

Alright, admittedly, it wasn't the most well-orchestra-ed movie ever. There were some really too long-can't-wait-for-it-to-end scenes especially at the wedding parties. However, it was touching all the same. Especially the last row between the 2 sisters.... I nearly forgot that was Anne Hathaway. Way to go girl. It was really a good raw performance. I liked Rosemarie DeWitt's performance though. always unsuspecting really. No wishy-washy stuff and very real, something we all can relate to. About guilt, forgiveness, sibling rivalry, family. Thanks Galli for introducing this movie.

Tayar Letup

Never ever trust a mechanic or foreman. Me and H found out that the mechanic loaded 72psi onto my front tyres. Patutlah letup! sheesh, you think people would hv the pride in their work to ensure that everything a-Ok before they hand over the car to me. Thank gawd i wasn't driving very fast that day, and I do drive pretty fast sometimes.....

after the tyre exploded, I stopped at the side of the highway, slowly inched my car towards the Taman Danau Desa exit and was helped by a stranger who lived on the squatter area there to change the tyre. H came later and we went to Shell station to isi angin...

Well, the whole fiasco is not over yet as i also am seeking compensation. 2 tyres at least. And it also caused more damage on the left side panel.

The Marriage Mania

I've at least had friends who are either getting engaged or getting married this year. It's the rush before the year of the TIGER which was dubbed as the unlucky year for any marriage..

My best friend is getting married soon and been hearing updates from him about his outrageous wedding dinner(s). 3 locations! He is however a finance geek and has also been keeping track of his expenses and has estimated a staggering RM85K!

Seems a bit 'lebih' for a 3-nighter-event. But well I digress to say every bride deserves her ideal wedding I guess. At all costs. As long as it's shared between 2.

But seriously, why not spend less on the wedding dinners attended by half of the people you dont know and opt for a more upclose and personal wedding affair with family and friends. or just do a simple dinner and spend lavishly for the honeymoon where both of you get some rest n relax action.

Having said that, people should really stop asking me about marriage, haha. For one, you should never ask a woman. For 2, my views on marriage is simple. I can do with or without it. Just look at how late all my sisters got married. And For 3, it's really none of your business lei! ahahhaa.

The Departure

People leave you not intentionally but that's just how things go. How many friends have you made, connect with, and then to depart with just memories... I've had plenty of those. And yeah I suck at keeping in touch, although every single one of them holds a small part in my memories. Well, the important and meaningful friendships I mean.

And I've had loved ones who's left me. It had made me agonize if I ever had to see another one go. I feel it's constantly bug me, and it will forever. Sigh. But when the time comes, we will need to learn how to let go.

It's a week of many departures. I'm afraid there'll be more..... I have a friend leaving for US. one just left a month ago. I have a colleague although faraway, would be leaving soon. I just heard a friend's grandma is stricken with sickness, we grew up 'around' her i guess.

It's so hard to love and then to let go anyways. Seems really pointless and one might think why do we even bother to love, of any kind, be it friendship, love, comradeship, family. . But what's life never knowing love.

The Wrestler

I like wrestling. I used to watch a lot of it and my friends used to love reenacting scenes from WWE.....weird but it's really an art, a performance, and this movie gave us a little bit of insight into what professional wrestling is all about. But more than ever, this movie touches on the vulnerability of an aging wrestler. I almost forgot it was Mickey Rourke :), had a lot of rawness (keep thinking RAW is WAR..hahaha) in his performance that makes it a really good one. My favourite part was at the end actually. When he said that he could never get hurt out there (pointing at the ring) and that he's only hurt when he's here.

Cheap Thrill

Did not win but it was featured in The Star today, muahahhahaha. TOok this picture in Bogor....

Slumdog Millionaire

I watched this maybe few weeks back. And loved it. It was pleasant, heartbreaking, scary all rolled up in this little movie. I have a friend in indonesia who has riled up a bunch of comments on her facebook. My sister cried bowls after watching it....heart-wrenching especially the kids-kena-eyes gorged out-tu. I still can't forget the dive-into-shit-for-Amitabh scene. Very funny.

So well, was it a good movie? well to have stirred up so much emotions, it'll have to be good! And you know it's a good one if you think of Jamal as Jamal....as opposed to watching Benjamin Button and think why Brad Pitt looks like that. The beauty of the movie is that it didnt have big names. It allowed for immersion into the realism of the movie.

Ohwell, go see it and tell me what you think.

Australia.....

Going off to Australia in August'09. First family trip in a long time. It would be a road trip! Any recommendations anyone??? Food to eat and places to go?

To Depend

A friend of mine was just telling me that he loves having dependent/dependents...he loves to be the provider ...How many of us would think that way though? Most people take it as a burden.

But I guess having dependents makes him feel his life is meaningful. That working and slaving is meaningful. It also makes a person less selfish I suppose.

Imagine if u had no dependents. Well yeah, you have ample money to indulge on yourself. But how much could you use and indulge on.

It really takes a lot of selflessness to be in that mode. One must be so USED to paying for things and just making sure everyone's taken care of. A person like this will not expect any gratitude or appreciation because he loves doing it. One would be contented with putting a smile on that person he just cared and provided for.

I wonder if people like this really exist. Are you one?

Stop Bugging Me

I had at least 6 calls last night-3 of which were missed calls because i just didnt want to pick up the phone anymore. There was a gathering last night, and I didnt want to go because i was tired....Now, what's wrong with that? I show up for almost every damn gathering possible and yesterday I just needed a break.

Hasn't it ever occurred to anyone that maybe I just want to be left alone? Me and imny thinks its our age catching up on us and we're turning reclusive, but seriously, I do enjoy being by myself. I enjoy having my own time.

OK and so, I lied yesterday. Because it would have sounded too weird if i said i just wanted to be alone and rest... SO I said i was DEAD tired. I'll rather be vague than bluntly saying that I wanna be a hermit for a night. Boleh ke???

And why do i feel weird about admitting that anyways? Fear of being labelled as weird? Anti-social? Ok, i do have moments when I want to go out...it's just that I have less needs for that now. And the moments when I do want to have quiet time are way MORE now.

So maybe it's weird I like having my cup of chinese tea in front of the telly watching reruns and dvds. Or mending my dying potted plants. Or rearranging my trinkets. I ENJOY IT. if that's weird, so be it.

Stand Tall

Maybe i've just been watching too many movies on conspiracy theories and ulterior motives and globalization. I wonder if we'll be sucked into all this economic catastrophe further because of economic giants who were caught in their own web. Well, doesnt it look stupid now for those who worships them. Even the biggest will fall one day. That's just how the world works. So, dont be arrogant.

Obsession

Everyone has some obsession for something. It could be shopping, photography etc. Some of us suffer from obsessive compulsive disorder...that we might not know of. Just doing a bit of self-searching now..and trying to list down my obsessions and whether it is bordering OCD...

1) shopping...i think not, it happens sporadically like the time when I was in indonesia, only because it was convenient and i had the time to do it.

2) perfumes...yes, I do think i have an obsession for that. but i've refrained from buying since i'm a scrooge, also because trying not to indulge....But i do recall buying maybe about 5 in the US jsut before I came back. First ever bottle that was absolutely unforgettable was the Banana Republic Woman. I was strolling in Annapolis by the port in my tattered jeans and black t, and had my first payout after 2 weeks and bought one for myself.

3) smurfs... it's more of an excessive use of this word, is it an obsession, u tell me. I can tell you I have a bunch of friends whom we call each other smurf! without much thought.But I won't say that I know much about the smurfs....

4) movies....i'm the type that would watch 4-5 straight movies on a really quiet day. And I'm obsessed with making sure that I finish whatever movie i start watching. It has to really suck for me to not watch it. I'm constantly looking for the ultimate movie, and so far, nothing moves me more than A Beautiful Life. Chinese movies doesnt do anything for me, although there are some notable ones.

5) music..this obession has somehow weaned...I used to be obsessed about the radio, hogging the radio to listen to some good music, actually hoping to hear some songs that i've marked (in my mind anyway). I was the type who would find mp3s and save 'em. But I'm starting to be just too complacent with whatever I have now, and just can't be bothered to listen to more. The last album I bought was THe Killers Sam's Town.

The Right Gift

Anyone's scratching their heads finding the right gift for this sat? I was listening to the radio today and a caller was saying that he is having a tough time because:

1) he can't repeat the same gifts as last year or else he'll be branded as boring

2) he needs to get a gift that would be OK enough to get an OK from his gf

3) he can't get something to cheap...else he's a cheapskate..

finally he said he wondered if Valentine's day supposed to be like this. Meeting the other half's expectations.... and this stressful.

Seriously, life is tough as it is. And work is stressful as it is. I dont want a gift that's going to further burden my bf financially. BUt then again I dont want a useless gift that I would have to pretend in front of him to say that I love it, when I really dont.

So we've decided...no gifts this year. We have movie tickets booked. And most probably a quiet dinner in a quiet place. And it doesnt have to be an expensive place.

we sometimes place too much emphasis on material and luxury; ah, the faults of many.

Invalides

Who's not hit by the economic downturn? I'm saddled by job insecurity, not to mention I work in a company that has up to date news on which company's bailing out or about to. So it can get rather depressing when all you hear is bad news. I haven't really heard of many people getting bonuses this year, or maybe people just opt not to mention about it i guess.

Saddled by a mortgage loan and well since getting a place, many unexpected bills and extra expenditure.

Putting my plans to travel on hold. I should I suppose after spending a bomb for the Eurotrip. I could sneak 1 really good trip somewhere cheap out of Msia or do a few local trips. Really wanna do Greece this year with imny and mom but i guess I really should sit tight and keep a watchful eye.

And so, this year is going to be a cautious and a very handicapped year. Whatever your zodiac sign says, well everything's almost related to money isn't it? Strained love= money. Job insecurity=money. Health =money. Marriage=money. Money=poket kosong. I think they should just summarize at the end of every zodiac/horoscope with a rating for $$$ in a scale of 0 to 10. 0= zero money. 10= loads of money.

The Mask

Most people carry masks because for a few reasons:

1) their true self scares them

2) they are afraid their true self scares other people

3) because its just easier to conform to what's normal. everyone's weird in their own ways

4) because some people are just evil. we all are. we just keep the devil within

5) because we all have secrets. big or small, serious or frivolous, we hold on to our little secrets

you know, don't even bother to 'un-mask' someone. maybe sometimes it's best not to know.... If not, usually your instincts and intuition tells u if that person is being his/her true self. we sometimes just choose not to trust our instincts.

When You're Confused...

So many people around me are either leaving Malaysia or thinking about coming home. Well, I was just telling a good friend, we will never be 100% sure, and sometimes we just need 60% to be assured and just have to make that move.

we are 31 and yeah, we're still confused. If anyone can be positive in their life and the direction he/she's heading, well then he/she is all sorted out. We're not. I still can't even figure out what dress cut suits me the best, or whether I should keep my hair long or short.

It's nice to know we are all confused. I realized that maybe life is all about uncertainties, and obstacles. Maybe life is not meant to have answers for everything. It's just better if we leave it as that and live life not expecting answers all the time.

ANd stop asking questions as well, for that matter. (dedicated to shami)

Blast from the Past

This was where I used to work in ny. it's at the pavonia station in new jersey. Although I used to work in the much older branch at montgomery. It was the montgomery branch that I met some of the special people in my life.

I was 23 and just left a lousy job in annapolis and was heading back to ny to try my luck again. Agnes hook me up a job at the montgomery branch where she used to work. I was blur to the shits about waitressing and showed up one fine morning at work trying to bluff my way. THat's where I met Shirley, Esther and Jessica. These are people who took care of me unconditionally when i was working there. They trained me and shared the tips with me. Just because we love each other like it was a new family there.

And so I met Esther today. Ironically, andrew had his pants done at the tailor shop where she was working. She asked if I came by for lunch, and I said no, i came because of her! Nearly brought us to tears and we chatted away and catching up on 6 lost years.... She has not changed, ever the wise and always giving me 'tips' of life. I have as she described, 'gone cute' after all the pounds I gained.

But isn't it amazing that it felt like we've never left that small little joint called komegashi...

My Favourite Part about CNY...

CNY is finally here....and I can't wait to raid the food. And it's a great CNY this year, because the family unit is back-imny decided to surprise my parents and she's back. The babies are gonna be reunited and we will all be in Ipoh (thank gawd it's not Singapore this year).

And it's gonna be laksa and indian food again for CNY. Thanks to my mom's 'half-brother", uncle Dass who comes by every CNY with his curry crab and chicken.

Expecting my childhood friends to drop by again, i know Larn is back and well, there will be a few departures this year, Kuching and Clyn...I know they always say they are there for the laksa, but then it's probably one of those moments that we really cherish that we are able to meet and mau like we were in MC. Sigh. The good 'Young" days.

Having my 1st CNY gathering with Andrew's friends and mine at my place . Hah, it's my turn now since i've been visiting at people's house every CNY.....

So, best part about CNy are the gatherings....Without the friends and family, it is no CNY.

My Blueberry Nights

Movie is directed by Wong Kar Wai, HK director....an interesting movie with a great cast and interesting plot. Great performances by Rachel Weisz and David Strathairn. I especially liked the part where Sue Lynn (Rachel Weisz) was confiding to Lizzie(Norah Jones) after Arnie (David Strathairn) died.

Facing It with A Smile

Day after day, I must face a world of strangers

Where I don't belong, I'm not that strong

It's nice to know that there's someone I can turn to

Who will always care, you're always there

When there's no gettin' over that rainbow

When my smallest of dreams won't come true

I can take all the madness the world has to give

But I won't last a day without you

So many times when the city seems to be

Without a friendly face, a lonely place

It's nice to know that you'll be there if I need you

And you'll always smile, it's all worthwhile- Carpenters

Ever felt when things just don't seem to turn out right..When your smallest of dreams wont come true....Not ever getting over that rainbow? It's been a tough 2008. Many challenges and changes. Just have to face it with a smile I guess. Here's a a great new year ahead.