Wednesday, September 13, 2006

The 3Cs and how to deal with them ...


I recently read an article about the type of friends one encounters throughout their lifetime. Friends come in different categories and you establish a different level of bonding and relationship with each and every one of them. Every friendship is unique. I don't think any can be identical. You can't be the best of friends with everyone that comes into your life ... which is fine, you don't have to. Life's too short to get worked up with trying to please everyone and trying to be their best of friend anyway. It should be a very natural process and most importantly MUTUAL. Of course when you come across issues or clashes, you should try to fix the friendship or try to work past your differences. And if it doesn't work out, it's perfectly ok to move on, demote him/her into acquaintanceship status and find other friends. Life goes on. The following are the 3'C's of friends you might encounter in your great journey.

The Competitor: These are the ones who always tries to compete with you. More so in our country, the kiasu nation. In school, they are the ones who seem to be overly concerned if you've done your assignment or preparation for an exam. But behind those casual inquiries, lies an agenda to top whatever you're doing. At work, they may pop by not to say hi and see how you're doing but to see 'what' you're doing. Then sometimes they may even throw in some not so sincere remarks like 'wow, that's great that you're ahead of your schedule ... etc', then rush off to put in more OT. In dealing with them, first you have to tone down your success in life. This may or may not work because they would still look at everything that happens in your life as a success and thus a threat to them. If you ever get into an argument with them, just give up and say 'you're right' - nothing means more to them than winning, not just winning but topping YOU. So, being the one with the bigger heart, you just gotta let them win. Of course to a limit and if that limit is breached, it's time to move on, life's too short for dumb competitions with friends.

The Copycat: Yes you're suppose to be flattered when someone idolizes you and tries to follow your footsteps. But not to the extend that they try to BE YOU. And it's certainly not flattering when they start to wear what you wear or even speak or laugh the way you do! In dealing with them, first you'll have to propagandize the greatness of individuality. Show them the great attributes that they have that you don't. BUT don't ever say that you wish you have those qualities, else it defeats the purpose. Remember, individuality is your message. Of course if it doesn't work and you're sick of having a twin following you around, it's time to move on, life's too short for excessive friend worshipping.

The Crybabies: They seem to be the only ones who has issues or problems in life. When you talk, it's all about their problems and how messed up their life is. Well, yes a friend is suppose to be the shoulder to cry on but definitely not their savior to every trivial little nudge in their life. In dealing with them, first you may want to help them realise that their problems are trivial and that they're not the only person on earth who has problems. Do it gently as this is fragile territory because you certainly don't want to be ignoring a friend who's really in trouble. Of course for those whiners with no real problems, there's alway a limit to your patience and if you can't handle it, it's time to move on, life's too short for drama queens.

2 comments:

toniXe said...

haha, how bout d Cool n Caring one..

d one u'll meet soon ...

tihtahpah said...

You're right tonixe, I had missed out the good ones.

In my defence, this post is meant to focus on the problematic ones and ways to deal with them :)

Perhaps someday, I'll write a positive sequel one. Till then ...

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